Lemniscate
by Kperkins
Summary: Trapped in a desolate purgatory known only as The Wasteland, Damon meets a few familiar faces, a few new dangers, and fights to return to Elena. But what will he find when he gets home? Grief is a powerful motivator and Elena has plenty of that. How far did she go to save them and what consequences will she pay? Rated high T to M, to be safe. Reviews appreciated!
1. Lost

_Disclaimer: I do not own The Vampire Diaries or anything associated with it. _

_This is just a taste of the story I'd like to do but, since I already have another one in the works, I want to make sure people would be interested in reading it. I hope you all enjoy it! Reviews are welcomed!_

The sun shines through the trees, leaving fractured patterns across the ground. Wind carrying the scents of the forest tosses my hair back and I close my eyes for a moment, listening to the leaves rustling. It's so peaceful out here, surrounded by nature and all the wonders it creates. Sometimes life gets so hectic that I forget to take it all in and absorb the warmth and light that life has to offer. I open my eyes and look at of one of the biggest sources of the light in my life, one that I often take for granted. His blue eyes are lined with thick, black lashes that match his unruly hair and they always express his emotions better than anything else. _Damon._ I drink in the sight of him in front of me.

Wait. I remember this.

My hands raise to wrap around his neck involuntarily.

"Do you see a future with me? Because that's all I see." I say.

"Elena, I've seen it since the second I laid eyes on you." His voice triggers a melancholy feeling deep in my core.

No. No, no, no. I remember. I remember where this leads.

The image starts to shimmer and change and I try to call to him but I'm no longer in control of my body. I watch, screaming inside, as his beautiful face slowly disappears.

I look around at the new scene materializing in front of me. I'm in the woods, still, but it's darker now and there is a building to my right, a mausoleum. The sounds of the forest that captivated me earlier are absent now. The whole world seems to be on mute, not even my footsteps leaving behind a sound. I walk towards the mausoleum, anxiety starting to creep into my chest. The doors are open, the building seemingly abandoned, and then I see her. She's me, leaning against the wall for support, crying, grasping at anything to make this pain stop.

All at once, the sound comes crashing back followed by a wave of emotion: regret, hopelessness, loss, and overwhelming pain, all crushing my chest, making it hard to breathe.

"You lied to me." I hear her say to the empty room. "Please don't leave me."

I want to stop watching. I don't want to see this again, I already lived it. But I can't stop. I'm stuck, reliving this moment over and over again.

I watch myself slide down the wall. I remember the feeling of the dirt covering the floor, the stones pressing into my back. I remember feeling his hand touch my face, even though I couldn't see him. I remember the loss I felt when I lost that, too.

"Please come back to me."

The scene shifts again and I'm back out in the sun, but it doesn't feel as warm. The colors of the grass, the sky, aren't as bright. Everything feels dead. I feel dead. I'm looking at a gravestone with his name on it. I want to touch it but I can't bring myself to. I don't want to feel the cool stone and realize that's the last part of him I'll feel beneath my fingertips.

The earth still looks freshly disturbed, powdery dirt covering the charred remains of the man I love. It should have grown over by now… enough time has passed even though, sometimes, it doesn't feel like it. It feels like yesterday and a million years ago all at once.

"Elena." I hear to my right. It's him. Damon. I turn to look, but, as I do, the scene fades and I wake up.

* * *

I sit up in bed, wiping away the remnants of tears that have soaked my pillow, and look around the empty room. Three months later and it doesn't feel any more like home. The only home I'd really had since Jenna's death, along with Damon's room and all his things, still sits within the magic-free zone of Mystic Falls, and this house, a foreclosure, just feels like a big, almost empty house.

Part of me wishes I could lay in the sheets that probably no longer smell like him, wear his shirts to bed… another part of me knows I probably wouldn't even disturb anything, wanting to leave things just as he left them. The only thing I have is his daylight ring, which I wear on chain around my neck. I was surprised that it survived the explosion and even more surprised when Sherriff Forbes was able to get it to me. I'm guessing it was spelled with a protective magic to shield it from being destroyed. Though it's little consolation, I'm grateful for this memento, at least, and I find myself playing with it often.

I can hear Stefan moving around in his room. He sleeps about as much as I do, too afraid to close his eyes and dream of what he's lost. The first night I woke crying Damon's name in my sleep, Stefan was here in an instant to comfort me. But after months of this never-ending torture, we've both come to accept that this is how things are now. You would think we would be brought together by the mutual pain of losing Damon, but sometimes it feels like we are just strangers sharing the same grief.

I get out of bed and get dressed. As much as it hurts to do anything, Stefan and I aren't the only ones that lost someone. We all lost Bonnie. I feel like this heartache is even worse than the first time I lost her because, now, she's really gone. Jeremy tries, still, to reach her, but there hasn't even been a glimmer of hope that she can hear him. It's just… emptiness, he says. He's the only thing keeping me going right now, but, some days, it's still too much for either of us to bear.

I go downstairs, catching a glimpse of one of the clocks. It's still early, just barely 5 AM. I am exhausted but sleep no longer helps quell the fatigue that plagues me. I sit on the couch and stare at nothing, spacing out like I tend to do these days. I'm not sure how long I sit there before my phone dings, but I ignore it. I'm not ready for any kind of interaction right now. After a few more messages, though, something close to curiosity blooms in my chest and I check my phone.

It's from Jeremy.

_Are you awake? Call me ASAP._ Reads the first message.

_Elena, wake up and CALL ME._

_It's Bonnie. Call me._

I take a deep breath and text him back instead, knowing Stefan will overhear if I call him. For the first time in months, I'm on the verge of hoping, but I don't want to get his hopes up for nothing. Instead, I grab my keys and leave to meet Jeremy at the edge of town, trying not to get too excited. I can't help it, though. This could be it. This could be our chance to see them again.

* * *

**Three months earlier**

When I open my eyes, I'm still holding Bonnie's hand and we are sitting in the middle of a field… or what looks like it used to be a field, but all the grass is dead. She stands and looks around us, confused. What is this? Where are we? I thought for sure we'd be just… gone. Apparently, we're not that lucky.

"What the hell is this place?" I say, more to myself than to Bonnie, though that doesn't stop her from replying.

"I don't know. I've never died and disappeared with a supernatural purgatory before."

I give her a look. "Me, neither. But at least we're somewhere… though, I'm not sure it's a 'somewhere' I would have picked."

We walk aimlessly, not sure where we're headed, and it doesn't help that it seems to be perpetually night. Trees litter the earth, sparsely placed, and dying just like everything else here. After a while, we come across a forest line and stop. It's even darker in there and something tells me it's not a place I want to go.

"You don't want to go in there." I hear to my right.

You've got to be kidding me. I turn just in time to see a figure step out from behind a tree.

"Katherine."


	2. Searching

_Disclaimer: I do not own The Vampire Diaries or anything associated with it._

_First, I just wanted to say thank you so much to everyone that reviewed this, added it to your favorites, or followed it. Your support pushes me to continue writing! Now, I wrote this earlier and, though it's not as long as I'd planned, I wanted to go ahead and upload it since there were several people that seemed very interested in it. I hope you continue to love this story and that you will continue to review it and let me know what you think. Thank you guys! Much love - K_

**Elena's POV**

On my way to meet Jeremy, I get a text message saying to meet him at an abandoned house on the outskirts of town. I follow the dirt road that leads to it and try my best to not get my hopes up. In three months, we have followed countless other leads to get Damon and Bonnie back. Every time we find one, I tell myself I'm not going to let myself hope and, every time, when we fail, I realize I'd been hoping, anyway, without even realizing it.

We're starting to run out of options and I don't like the feeling it gives me… frantic, trapped, desperate… like a caged animal. But, with Bonnie gone and Liv and Luke God knows where, we're blind, completely without magic, which means we're severely limited on what we can do. Still, we have to try. We have to keep going. Even when it hurts so much to believe, I refuse to entertain the thought that they are just… gone.

I feel a knot forming in the back of my throat again, followed by a tight feeling in my chest, and I pull off on the side of the road to wait for it to pass. I try to breathe through it but the air feels thin and my head swims. _It's not real, it's not real. _This has become my mantra. Usually it helps, but, this time, all I can think of is my dream this morning, his blue eyes…

I lost so much when he left me. And the more time that passes, the more I feel stuck because I _can't_ move on. Everything passes me by and I'm untouched, unmoved. A living ghost.

Thoughts I try hard to keep away creep into my mind in moments like this, when I'm weak with anxiety, when I let the grief overwhelm me.

_I can't remember what his kiss felt like_. The only time I can feel it is when I'm dreaming, but every dream comes with a price because it's only temporary… and I'm forced to lose him again and again.

_I can't remember his voice_. I held on to it for as long as I could, replaying the first night he said he loved me over and over. But, over the months, the memory of his voice slipped away, replaced by the flat, toneless voice inside my head.

More than the part of him that I lost, I lost parts of myself.

_I don't remember what it's like to feel warm. I don't remember what it's like to feel happy._ Sometimes I smile but it feels foreign, forced. It's just become a way to make others feel better.

_I don't remember what it's like to look forward to the future_. I'd come to accept my fate as a vampire. Damon helped me with that, he helped me see what the future could bring for someone who has eternity. But, now, immortality seems more of a punishment than a gift. The only reason I haven't shut out my humanity is that I know, if I do, I won't care about trying to find him and bring him back… and I can't let that happen because the prospect of never seeing him again is inconceivable.

The anxiety attack starts to subside. I wipe the tears from my face and go on my way. A vampire with anxiety issues… I'm sure Damon would have a joke to make about that. I almost smile but shut that thought out. If I remember the good times, it hurts too much. Right now, I just need to find Jeremy.

* * *

When I arrive at the abandoned house, Jeremy is already there, waiting on the porch.

"Jer, what's going on? Did you see Bonnie? Did you talk to her?"

He's shaking his head before I'm done with my sentence and my heart sinks.

"No, Elena. It wasn't like that." He looks down at me and puts his hands on my shoulders. "I woke up the other morning with… it was almost like a voice in my head, but it didn't speak with words, if that makes sense."

"It doesn't."

"It was like I woke up with renewed purpose."

I sigh and turn away, trying to hide my disappointment. "And what did it tell you to do?" I stop, realizing there is a familiar sound in the air. Another heartbeat. I turn and look at him but he continues to block the door.

"Who is in the house, Jeremy?"

He puts his hands up. "Elena, I need you to trust me on this, okay?"

My eyes dart from the door to his face. "Who is it?"

He sighs and leads me into the house. She backs against the wall when I come in, her blonde hair tangled and disheveled. _Liv._ Hate fills my chest and I flash across the room and pin her against the wall, slowly crushing her windpipe. I can feel her hands clawing at mine, getting weaker and weaker as her consciousness slowly leaves her.

"Elena! Elena!" I can hear Jeremy call my name, feel him trying to pull me back, but it's useless. I feel blood rush towards my eyes and I watch awareness rush into hers before I tear into her neck.

* * *

**Damon's POV – Three months before**

"Fancy meeting you here, Katherine." I say, looking her up and down. It's ironic that all I've wanted to do since I got here is see Elena, kiss her, tell her I love her again, hear her tell me that she loves me, too… And, yet, looking at Katherine does nothing for me. It doesn't even mollify my urge to see Elena again.

"Damon. Bon-bon." She nods at us, flashing her best Katherine-esque smile and tilting her head to the side. "I have to say, I was rather surprised to learn you were both trapped on The Other Side when it fell apart."

"How did you find out? Where are we?" Bonnie says, looking around at our dead surroundings.

"All in good time." She smiles. "First, let's get away from here. These woods give me the creeps. And we have somewhere to be."

"I don't remember making an appointment for today, thanks." This time I flash her my best screw-you-bitch smile and walk past her.

"Oh, believe me. You'll want to hear this."

I stop. "And why is that?"

"Let's just say Bonnie's Grams made a deal with a witch on her behalf… and she can send you back."

* * *

**Elena's POV**

I feel my teeth sink into Liv's skin and revel in the taste of her warm blood and the power that spreads through my body with every ounce drained. Somewhere deep in my subconscious, I'm sure I know I'll regret this later, especially if she dies, but, at the moment, I don't really care. Damon is dead because of her. He's gone because of _her_. Renewed anger courses through me and I bite harder, causing her to scream out in pain.

Suddenly, I'm thrown backwards into the wall.

"Alright, alright. You've had your fun. But we need Blondie alive."

I look up to find my attacker, though it's not really necessary. I'd recognize his lilting accent anywhere. Enzo. Well, this day just keeps getting better. I look back at Liv, sitting in the corner of the room with her hand covering her neck, and feel the heat rushing back towards my face involuntarily. I rush at her again but he grabs me, holding me back.

"Can you do something about your sister?" He says, struggling to keep me from her.

"Elena! We need her alive. She can help us get them back!"

I stop fighting Enzo but anger continues to course through my veins and I grab the couch, flipping it across the room and storming out of the house.

"It's _her _fault he's gone!" I scream at Jeremy, my voice breaking. I turn to see him frozen the doorway, clearly shocked at my reaction. "Damon is… dead." I say, choking on the last word. "Because of _her_."

"I know. I _know._ But she can help us. I need you to trust me. I need you to trust that I want this to work just as much as you do."

I nod, unable to speak.

"Well, now that the reunion is out of the way," Enzo says with a pointed look towards me, "how about we talk about what we really came here for?"

* * *

Liv sits in a chair in the middle of the room, casting wary glances at me every now and then, even though I personally gave her some blood to heal her.

"So, Luke took your powers to stop you from doing the spell?" I say skeptically.

"Yes. Because it was killing me."

"So, do you have them back or…?"

"No, I don't. Luke and I were ambushed by our coven outside Mystic Falls. They were pissed that we helped you. They took him and left me behind as punishment."

"And you want us to help you get him back." Well, isn't this ironic?

"And, in return, she'll help us." Jeremy adds.

I bite my lip. "How exactly do you plan on getting us close enough to get to him? I assume this coven is filled with some pretty powerful witches. And do you even know where he is? It's not like you can do a locator spell to find him."

"Yes. Please enlighten us on your plan to rescue your brother without getting us all killed." Enzo chimes in.

I shoot him a look.

"Why are you even here? I thought you shut off your humanity."

"Yes, well, then I died and, apparently, ghosts don't have that ability like we vampires do. So, now, I'm here for the same reason you are: to get Damon back."

Jeremy clears his throat.

"And your little witchy friend, too, I guess." He amends, rolling his eyes.

* * *

**Damon's POV **

We've been following Katherine for what seems like forever and have yet to see any sign of houses or life at all, anywhere. Death surrounds us. The dead grass wilts even more at our touch, which isn't exactly encouraging. Finally, I see a faint glow in the distance.

"What is that?" I mutter.

Katherine doesn't respond and, after a few more strides, I can make out the silhouette of a structure, small and drab with a single candle burning in the window. The building seems to be a little better off than the rest of this place, surrounded by bushes and trees that are alive within a small circle around it. That must mean a witch lives here. I touch one of the leaves and it withers instantly, seeming to pull away from my hand. Like I said, not very encouraging.

The door to the shack opens and out steps Quetsiyah.

Wow. I must have the worst luck in the universe to end up here, with these two for the rest of eternity. And Bonnie, though she's probably my favorite of the three, and that's saying something. I'm sure someone out there is having a great big laugh at my expense right now.

"Please, don't touch my plants. I've worked hard to keep them alive in this Wasteland."

"Well, if it isn't my favorite psychotic witch."

She looks at me, her expression stoic. "I made a deal to help Bonnie, but you're just an extra and an inconvenience. So, I'd watch my tongue, if I were you."

I nod slightly, trying to suppress my natural urge to retort in some sarcastic, yet hilarious, way.

She extends her arm and we walk into her home, if you could call it that. It's one room with a bed, table, a couple of chairs, and a fireplace complimented by a dirt floor and musty smell. Wonderful. I take one of the chairs and wait for someone to say something.

"What is this place?" Bonnie says, never one to disappoint. Actually, that's a lie. She disappoints on a regular basis.

"This is a Wasteland, as I said earlier. Dead and barren other than the Forest of Lost Souls."

"The what? Those creepy looking woods out there?" I say, not really in the mood to wait for answers.

She reluctantly looks at me. "The Forest of Lost Souls. It is a purgatory all its own where many have been lured through false promises and siren calls, unaware that, inside the forest, all hope of getting out is lost and you are forced to wander, alone, until you lose all sense of who you are. The Wanderers, as they are known, become savage and hate-filled creatures. It is not a place you want to go, but beware, for those inside will find ways to tempt you."

"O-kay." I say after a minute, "So, no camping in the woods. Got it. Now, Katherine said something about helping us get back home?"

"Wait." Bonnie interrupts. "Did you say _a _Wasteland? As in, there are more?"

"This plane is only one of many, Bonnie. When The Other Side disappeared, the souls were taken from there and sent to one of the hundreds of thousands of planes that exist out there, just as the souls of non-supernatural creatures."

"So, how is where we're placed determined?"

Quetsiyah scoffs. "You mean, how did you end up here? With us?"

Bonnie drops her head and nods slowly.

"A lot of where you go depends on your actions before death. I ended up here because of the choices I made, just as Katherine did. You weren't supposed to come here. Your Grams and I made a deal to save you and, in order to do so, you had to be where I was. Damon probably would have been here or worse if not for holding on to you." She gives me a glare.

"Yeah. So, anyway, how are we getting out of here?" I say, ready to move this along.

"What did you get out of this deal?"

I roll my eyes and shoot Bonnie a look. Who cares? Let's get this show on the road.

Quetsiyah grins. "We'll get to that. First, let's focus on the how instead of the why."

"What do you mean? How?"

Her grin widens. "We're going to contact Jeremy."


	3. Plans

_Disclaimer: I do not own TVD or anything associated with it, unfortunately. _

_Thank you so much to all those that followed, favorited, or reviewed my story! I really appreciate you guys. _

_I'm sorry that this one is kind of short. I'm getting prepared for the coming semester (nursing school, ahh!) and trying to get things in order for preschool so I've not been able to write as much. I will definitely be continuing the story. I have tons of ideas that I write down throughout the day when I think of them. I hope you'll stick with me, even if they take a little longer to come out. Thanks again!_

* * *

**Elena's POV**

"I know that it sounds crazy, but if we want to get them back, we have to help Liv get Luke back."

Caroline, Stefan, and Alaric stare at us in shock. Caroline, naturally, is the first to speak.

"It sounds crazy because it _is _crazy! Elena, are you listening to yourself? _If _we get Luke back and _if _he agrees to help us, _maybe _we can find a way to contact Bonnie and Damon, _if _they are even still out there. We have _no plan _to get inside to get Luke without being killed and even _less_ of a plan on how to contact anyone on the other… Other Side, if there even is one."

"Technically, there is no plan that's less than 'no plan'." Enzo says with a smile.

"They're out there." Jeremy says, before I can respond. "I can't explain it, but the other morning I woke up with this feeling, this _certainty,_ that she's still out there. It feels like…" He seems to struggle for a minute. "Almost like my Hunter instincts, but instead of feeling an intense desire to kill vampires, I have a drive to find Bonnie. It led me to Liv. She's out there."

Stefan and Caroline share a telling look. They think we're blinded by grief. Caroline walks over and puts her hand on my arm. I think she means it as a form of comfort but, to me, it just feels patronizing.

"Elena, I know you've been through a lot and I know you miss Damon and Bonnie. I miss her, too, but… maybe we're not supposed to bring them back. This is the second time Bonnie has died. Maybe the universe is trying to show us that they aren't supposed to be here. Maybe… we're just supposed to move on."

I shake my head. "No."

She grabs my shoulders. "Elena! Damon is gone. It's been months! For three and a half months, you've had nightmares and been crying every day, having panic attacks, flinching every time someone says the word 'dead'. You're torturing yourself holding on to this delusion that you can bring them back, but you can't!"

Stefan stands and tries to calm us down but I'm furious now. Before anyone can blink, I smack her hard across the face. She grabs her cheek out of shock more than pain and stares at me in disbelief.

"But it was okay when we brought Bonnie back the first time? And Alaric and Tyler and _Stefan_? It was okay when you wanted them all to come back, right? Just admit that you don't want Damon to come back. You always hated him and never wasted a minute of opportunity telling me just how much."

She stops for a second and then continues, ignoring the last part of what I said. "That's the whole point, Elena. No matter what we do, no matter how many times we bring them all back, everyone keeps dying. Even if we could bring them back, there is always a price to pay."

"Well, whatever the price is, I'll pay it because I don't care. I'm doing this with or without your help. Any of you."

Stefan puts his hand on my shoulder but I shrug him off, not wanting to be placated.

"Okay, you guys, calm down. We need to think about this." Caroline nods slowly but I just stare at him. "Listen, I think this is worth looking into." The look of outrage on Caroline's face is immediate. She clearly wasn't expecting that. "Elena is right, Caroline. If there is any chance my brother is still out there… if there is any chance Bonnie is out there, we have to try. They sacrificed themselves for us, for all of us. We owe them that. But Caroline is right, too. If we go into this blind, we'll all die. We have to be smart and fast."

The room is silent for a minute.

"We'll have to know where they are and where they are keeping Luke." Alaric says, and I can't help but smile a little knowing he's on board. "I have been experimenting with some new things since I got back. Bonnie's mom used some herbs to mute her magic. If we can get our hands on the ingredients we need, I can rig something up to use so we can get in there safely without having to kill anyone."

"I'll talk to Liv and see what she can figure out." Jeremy says.

"Ask her if there is anything else we can do to protect ourselves. She obviously can't perform protection spells for us, but maybe there is something else. Anything."

The cloud of despair that has followed me everywhere feels like it is starting to lift. We still have a long way to go, but at least we're doing something that will lead us to them. I will see them again.

* * *

**Damon's POV – Two months ago**

"Listen, I know you might be a little out of practice, being dead and all, but it's been a while since you said you would be contacting Little Gilbert and you have yet to do it, so…"

Quetsiyah shoots me a look.

"I might not be able to kill you or hurt you, but I can leave you behind." She stops, I'm guessing for dramatic impact. "I _told you_ that I could contact Jeremy because of my connection to him as one of my hunters. That doesn't mean it will be easy or instantaneous. There are literally thousands upon thousands of other realms and it takes time to sift through them all. Breaking my concentration doesn't help and it certainly doesn't make me want to do you any favors."

I push open the door and walk outside, needing to get away from Crazy Witch. Eternity in this place would be some kind of Hell. Literally. There is nothing to do and I'm stuck here with two of the most selfish and vindictive people out there… and Bonnie. And a bunch of Wanderers who don't seem like they'd be the best company, though I'm starting to consider that they might be more fun than anyone else in the Godforsaken land.

_Damon._

I look around. Who said that? It almost sounded like…

No, it has to be Katherine, pulling some kind of prank.

"Hilarious, Katherine. Now, knock it off."

_Damon. I miss you._

I look to where the sound is coming from, right at the edge of the forest, There's a light shining, brighter than any light I've seen here so far, whiter, more… pure, but there seems to be no source. I take a couple of steps, trying to stare as deep into the woods as possible. Suddenly, a form steps out from behind a tree.

She's bathed in the mysterious light, brown hair falling in soft curls past her shoulders. Her brown eyes sparkle like they used to when she would look at me and she smiles. She looks radiant. She's here, but how?

_Damon, I can help you. Follow me. _

All other sound seems to disappear. I can only hear her voice drawing me in. I stand rooted to the spot. I should go tell Bonnie, but I'm afraid if I turn, she'll disappear and I can't lose her again. I take a step and, as I do, she takes one backwards, into the forest. I feel a pull, urging me to go forward to her.

_You promised you'd come back to me._

She turns and walks away from me, heading deeper and deeper into the trees. I hesitate until the image of her starts to be obscured by the trees and I panic, the drive to follow intensifying.

"Elena!"

_Damon. _I hear someone else say… it's not Elena. It's not important.

_Damon. _I can't think of anything else but going to her. I take a few steps towards the trees.

_Damon! _I feel a hand on my arm and look over. Bonnie.

"What are you doing?"

I look back into the forest, but nothing is there. The light has vanished and so has she.

* * *

"I warned you that the Wanderers would find ways to try and lure you into the forest." Quetsiyah says, not even bothering to open her eyes. She just continues to sit and "sift through" the dimensions. Like channel surfing.

"You didn't tell me they'd pull a Silas and appear as whoever the hell they wanted to."

That gets her to open her eyes.

"Silas was a psychic that allowed you to see what he wanted you to. He was one man. _One._ How many souls do you think that forest holds after thousands of years of luring people in and binding them there? Notice how there aren't many people out here? They become the things you desire. They will call to you, entrance you, and manipulate you and your longing to leave only makes them work harder to make you stay forever."

"Well, then, how about we move this freak show along?"

* * *

**Elena's POV**

_Dear Damon,_

_It's been 3 months and 17 days since I lost you. Every day is a new challenge. Or maybe that's a lie… every day is trying to overcome the same challenge. And every day, I fail. The further from that day I get, the more detached I feel from the world, from my friends, from my life… from you. _

_When I became a vampire, I knew I would be frozen in time as an 18 year old… I just didn't realize I would be suspended in grief. You were the one that made me realize immortality was a gift. I thought it would be one we shared. I wasn't supposed to go on without you. You promised me. _

_The worst part is that I don't know where you are. Are you safe? Are you in pain? Jeremy says he knows that Bonnie is still out there because of some hunter-like feeling he got the other morning. I'm just praying that he's right and that it means you're out there somewhere, too, and that you're not suffering. Sometimes I argue with myself (I know, doesn't that sound like the epitome of mental health?) about where you are, trying to comfort myself into believing that your last act, a sacrifice, somehow meant something… that it had some bearing on where you went. Just knowing that would make me feel better._

_Tell Bonnie I miss her. Losing either of you would be hard enough… losing you both has left me broken and I don't know how to put the pieces back together when two of them are missing. _

_Stefan doesn't talk about you much. Sometimes I hear him upset when he thinks I'm sleeping, but he never mentions it. I think it's affecting him more than he lets on. He feels like he needs to be strong for everyone else, though. You're alike in that way. You were always my strength, my protector from anything and everything... sometimes more than I wanted you to be. I'd give anything to be annoyed at you for taking my choice away, now. _

_I don't see Jeremy as much now that Mystic Falls is magic-free. When I do see him, he tries to be strong, but I can see in his eyes how much he's hurting. I think this is extra hard on him because, last time this happened with Bonnie, he could still communicate with her. Now, he's just alone. I mean, he still has Matt and me but it's not the same. _

_Matt is Matt, going on the best he can despite everything that's happened. I think his life has made him into the type of person that can withstand things others can't. I know he was never your favorite person, but he's been here for all of us. _

_Liz is alive. Alaric told me you helped her when you went back to your body. He told her, too; I could tell it meant a lot to her to hear that. I know she misses you. She was in the hospital for a few weeks but she's back to work. She even nabbed your daylight ring for me. It's the only thing I have left of you._

_Caroline has tried to be here for me, but I don't think she knows how to be. When Stefan went off with Klaus and I held on to hope for him, she didn't understand why I couldn't just let him go. Now, she understands even less because I don't think it ever truly sunk in that I love you. You would think after feeling for someone like Klaus, she would be more understanding. I keep hoping she'll come around. After tonight, though, I don't know if she ever will._

_Alaric misses you like crazy, even if he doesn't say it in as many words. He holds a spot at the bar for you, like you used to do for him, though it's unfortunately not the same one you used to sit at. That one is gone (but from what Liz said, they are rebuilding the Mystic Grill and, if we can figure out this anti-magic barrier, maybe it will be ready for you when you get back). He mumbles to himself a lot and, sometimes, I think he's talking to you. I heard him say something about leaving him to watch the children… I don't know what that means. It's been hard for him, adjusting to life as a vampire on top of everything else… not being able to go home, losing his best friend. Hopefully, none of us will have to deal with that much longer._

_We have searched for so many ways to bring you home but there is only so much we can do without magic. That problem might be resolved. Jeremy found Liv. Tomorrow night, we're going to meet with her and go over our plan to get Luke back. Once we have him, it might take a little bit to get everything in order but I'm not going to give up. We will bring you both back. We will. We have to._

_I love you and I plan on telling you that in person in a few weeks. Be prepared because, once I see you again, you're stuck with me forever. I won't ever let you go again._

_Love,_

_Elena _

I close my journal and stash it under my mattress. Lame hiding place, but not many people are very interested in what I am writing. For months, since I lost Damon and Bonnie, I stopped writing to an invisible audience and started writing letters to Damon. It gives me hope that, one day, I'll be able to give them to him… show him that I never gave up on him, not even for a second.

I hear footsteps but I keep my back turned, not really up for conversation.

"Elena."

It's Caroline. I turn slightly, but still avoid looking directly at her.

"Can this wait? It's late and we need to get some sleep if we're going to take on these witches tomorrow."

"Sure." She turns and stops. "Actually, no. I need to say this just in case something goes bad tomorrow. I'm sorry, Elena. I'm sorry that I hurt you earlier. It's no secret that Damon wasn't my favorite person. But you love him and he loves you, in his own… way. Stefan said something to me once and it stuck with me. He asked how I would feel if people judged me based solely on who I was attracted to. Obviously, my choice in men wasn't any better… but you never judged me for it. I _want _to bring Damon and Bonnie back for you, I do. But every time we find a way, we lose it and I have to watch you lose them all over again. _I _have to lose them all over again and I'm tired to reliving that hurt. I'm tired of fostering grief. But I will do it for you and for Stefan, for Jeremy and Matt. Because I love you guys."

She hugs me and, after a second, I hug her back. I know she means well. Sometimes I get so caught up in the pain that I forget everyone else is hurting, too.

Downstairs, the door opens and I hear Jeremy's voice.

"We have a problem."

* * *

"They're doing what?"

"The coven has figured out a way to rid Mystic Falls of the no magic barrier." Liv says.

"And that's a problem why?" I pinch the bridge of my nose.

"Because they're going to kill Luke to do it."

Silence fills the house and, when it becomes clear that no one is going to ask any questions, she continues.

"The spell for the barrier required the blood of doppelgangers. To undo the spell, the spell requires the blood of witches born of the same bloodline."

"Which means they aren't just coming after Luke, but you, too." I say, still trying to understand this.

She nods.

"How do you know all this?"

"I have a friend, a witch, that doesn't agree with what they're doing. She warned me."

"Did she say when?"

"Tomorrow night."

"Did she happen to mention where Luke was being held prisoner?" Enzo says.

She shakes her head and drops her head. I actually feel sorry for her. I know how heartbroken I was when Jeremy was killed. Even though I hate her, I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

"Then we go tonight." I say, already running through my head the ways to go about this.

"Wait!" Caroline says. "You guys, this could be our only shot to get rid of the barrier!"

Liv looks up, incredulous. I can see in her eyes that she's wondering how this is even a side to consider. I have to agree with that.

"Who cares, Caroline? If we lose Luke, we lose all hope of getting Damon and Bonnie back!"

"How about we rescue Luke, bring Damon and Bonnie back, and then turn the Witch Twins back over to their coven to undo the spell?"

Everyone looks at Enzo and he smiles.

"I'm just kidding. Mostly."


	4. Surrounded

_Disclaimer: I don't own TVD or anything associated with it. _

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**Elena's POV**

"Here, these are for protection. They won't ward off their attacks completely, but it's all we've got until Luke can restore my magic."

Enzo opens the pouch Liv hands him and sniffs it. "Oh, God. What the bloody hell is in this thing? It smells like arse."

I smell the pouch in my hand. The aroma is sickly sweet with an undertone of bitterness. Ugh. It makes me a little nauseous. Liv rolls her eyes.

"It has basil, Solomon's Seal, hyssop, ague root, and pennyroyal. They will also keep the witches from being able to sense us… for a time, at least."

"Basil, as in for cooking?" I ask skeptically.

"If you don't want them, I can take them back."

I hold my hands up. "No, no. You're the witch. If you say they'll work… Anyway, what else do you have for us?" I slip the herb pouch over my head and tuck it beneath my shirt, hoping to mask the smell that seeps through the fabric and continues to burn my nostrils.

"This is a mixture of myrrh, cypress, and knotweed. They will mute magic, or bind it temporarily. The only problem is we'll have to figure out how to get close enough to let them breathe it in."

"I think I can help with that." Alaric says, pulling out his bag of weapons. He reaches in and pulls out what I recognize as the pieces of vervain grenades. I remember putting them together with Damon when preparing to take down Klaus, only they were filled with wolfsbane.

_Elena, if this thing blows up in our faces, just remember only one of us heals quickly. _I can still see the look of determination and worry on his face as he pulled the grenade pieces from my hands.

"Elena."

"Huh?" I look around and everyone seems to be staring at me. "I'm sorry, what?"

"I just asked if you remembered how to put these together." Alaric says, obviously questioning my sanity.

"Oh, um, yeah."

He gives me a long look. "Good. You and I can fill them up with these ground up herbs. I think that's probably our best chance at getting them to breathe that stuff in. We'll also carry pouches with us to use if we have the chance to sneak up on them."

"Okay, then, let's talk strategy." Stefan says. "Liv, did you ever get back in touch with your friend and find out where they're keeping Luke?"

"She said they're keeping him in an old abandoned house where a bunch of witches burned hundreds of years ago. Even with the Other Side gone, it's apparently still holds a lot of mystical energy. It's just outside city limits. I have the address here." She pulls a piece of paper from her pocket.

"I don't think that will be necessary." I say, looking at Stefan with one of the first genuine smiles I've had in a while.

"You lot know where a bunch of witches burned to death?" Enzo says. "Well… that's not creepy."

I give him a look, but ignore his sarcasm. I can definitely see how he and Damon became friends. "He'll most likely be held in the basement. That's where the energy seems to be the most focused, according to what Bonnie told us. That means, in order to get to Luke, someone is going to have to go in the door, through two rooms, and down a flight of stairs. That's a lot of time for errors—"

"And a lot of time for those witches to makes our heads feel like they're in a vise grip. And why are we not killing them, again?" Enzo says in a slightly too serious voice.

"Enzo. We're not killing anyone because we don't need to. Plus, if anyone is going to get that barrier down, it will be them."

"We'll try it your way, but fair warning that I'll kill anyone that stands in my way."

From the corner of my eye, I see Liv drop her head, tears shining in her eyes, and I almost feel badly for her again. This coven is her family. Their betrayal has to hurt, but that doesn't mean it's easy for her to plan what could potentially lead to their deaths.

"_We aren't killing anyone._" I repeat.

"If I remember correctly, didn't you snack on our little blonde friend pretty fiercely the first time you ran into her again?"

I can feel Stefan and Caroline's eyes on me. I never shared that little detail.

"How many witches are in your coven?" I say, ignoring everyone's stares. I can see Enzo's look of satisfaction in my peripheral.

Liv looks up at me, seeming to be lost in thought. "Um, 12."

"What is it with the number twelve?" Caroline says, thinking of the same thing I am: the three massacres of twelve arranged and carried out for Silas. "Is that like, the magic number or something?"

Liv looks at her like she's stupid.

"Yeah, actually. The number twelve has a lot of magical properties throughout many different religions and mythologies. Twelve days of Christmas, twelve Olympians in Ancient Greece, Norse god Odin had twelve sons, Jesus had twelve disciples, Hinduism's Sun god, Surya, has twelve names… need I go on? It is a number of power that allows us to draw from the Earth with a stronger bond to each other and to nature."

Caroline purses her lips. "Well, there's no need to get snarky. I didn't know."

"Guys, focus. We need to talk about who is going to go in and get Luke while everyone else is trying to prevent us from being killed. There are ten of them without Liv and Luke, which means we'll each have two to worry about, if it works out in our favor. Liv, as much as you don't want to hear this, I think you should stay out of this." I hold up my finger in response to her look of outrage. "Without magic, you're an easy target and, if they catch you while we're trying to get Luke, he will put everyone in danger to save you, including himself."

"She's right." Jeremy says and Liv nods slightly.

"Jer, I think you should stay behind, too… take Liv into town where the witches won't have power."

He's already shaking his head before I can finish.

"No! I'm not staying behind. We're doing this for Bonnie. I'm coming."

"She needs to have someone look after her, protect her."

"Matt can do it at his place. You can't stop me, Elena. Plus, my new instincts, or whatever you want to call them, led us to Liv. They might come in handy."

"He's right, Elena." Alaric says and I scowl at him. He shrugs apologetically.

"Fine. Call Matt and see if he'll meet us at the edge of town. Now, for everyone else… Stefan, think you and Caroline could try to stall? You're both pretty good at that." They both nod. "Alaric, you want to help us distract whoever we run into while Enzo and I go in to get Luke?" _And so I can keep an eye on him_, I add silently. "I know where he is and Enzo is… resistant to pain. Any attempts they make to stop us may incapacitate me, but most likely won't work as well on him. He's our best shot at getting Luke out safely."

"I'm so glad my 70 years of torture are coming in handy."

* * *

**Damon's POV – One month ago**

It feels like I've been here for years, but, maybe, that's because I don't have a calendar or watch of any kind. Or, maybe, it really has been years and Elena has already moved on with her life. The thought makes me sad and happy at the same time. Still, it won't stop me from trying to get back to her. Even in death, my selfishness continues.

Since my encounter with the Freaks of the Forest, I've kept my distance. I'm not one to admit fear, but I have no desire to go through that again. It wasn't just that whatever that was looked like Elena, there was a thrall of some kind, pulling me towards the darkness. I can be brave when it benefits me or for someone I care about, I can even take it to the level of stupidity, but I'm not suicidal. I guess that's actually kind of redundant, since I'm already dead… times two, but something tells me that whatever is in there is worse than death.

Tessa, as she's demanding to be called, says that she's close to reaching Jeremy. That's practically all she does, now, is search for a way to contact him. It's making me suspicious about what she's getting out of this. Who in their right mind would spend so much time trying to help a descendent they don't care about and a stranger they hate? Something is going on…

"Something's happening!" Bonnie calls from the door.

I run inside, frowning at how slow I am now that I don't have my vampire speed. Tessa is sitting in the floor with her eyes open, but they've changed. They looked fogged over, like she's in that creepy trance Luke went into to hide us from the travelers. I want to ask her what's going on, but I'm afraid I'll pull her out of wherever she is. So, Bonnie and I share a look and wait.

At least an hour passes before she comes out of it, looking exhausted.

"So, any luck?"

She glares at me. "Give me a minute to regain my strength."

I scoff. Give her a minute? She's had weeks or months or longer to reach Jeremy and she hasn't and, now, she goes into some weird trance for hours, comes out, and wants me to wait for her to stop being tired to answer my questions? Screw that. I open my mouth to say just that when Bonnie hits my arm, giving me a look that clearly says "shut up".

I exhale sharply and bite my tongue, for now. I scowl at Bonnie, but I know she's looking out for me, which is strange. We've kind of developed this odd friendship since we've been here. Personally, I find that extremely ironic and very unexpected, considering how much we hated each other when we were alive. But, you know what they say: nothing brings people together like witnessing a purgatory fall apart and being sent to a second, unknown purgatory. Or something like that.

* * *

I don't know how much time passes, but, eventually, I can't hold it back anymore.

"So, are we getting out of here or what?"

Tessa glances at me like she's debating on whether she should threaten me or just answer my question. She decides on the latter, probably because she only has the one threat and it's wearing pretty thin.

"I was able to contact Jeremy. He was asleep, dreaming, and I was able to see him there, influence his dreams in a way that allowed me to communicate."

"And? He's on board?"

"You clearly don't know how this works. Yes, he's willing to help me, but there's no guarantee that he'll remember our conversation when he wakes. I'll have to speak to him for a while before his new purpose sets in and he is reawakened. It will take time. More time." She adds, seeing the look on my face.

"Can't you just do the spell mojo like your witch did with the original Five?"

"Again, it doesn't work that way. To perform that spell, a witch must be living, which is why I had her do it instead of doing it myself on the other side. Here, our magic is closer to expression. It is a manifestation of our will, but it has its limits. We cannot affect another realm so completely, otherwise chaos would ensue. The first task Jeremy will have is to find a witch on their side to do the spell to bring you back. Bonnie and I can lend our magic to whatever witch will help, but we aren't able to do it alone, otherwise we would have no need for Jeremy and you would already be home. However, because he is my hunter, I only need to train his subconscious mind while he sleeps so that, when he wakes, he will have a newfound purpose that leads him to seek out that which he needs to bring Bonnie home. He won't remember our conversations at first, if at all, but it will get the job done."

"So, how much longer until his 'new purpose' sets in?"

"I don't know. His connection to me is strong, stronger now that I found him, but it will be up to his mind to accept my instructions and overcome whatever blocks he might have. From what I understand, he was able to overcome his urge to kill vampires enough to not kill you, unfortunately, or Elena, which says something for the strength of his mind. Hopefully, he can do the same here."

"'Hopefully' doesn't inspire much confidence. This _is_ Jeremy we're talking about." I say, mostly just to mess with Bonnie. Just as I suspected, she scowls and throws a pillow at me, missing me by a few feet. I can see the humor, though, behind her scowl and it stirs a feeling in me, close to what I felt when Enzo kept me sane inside that Augustine cell. Loyalty, friendship, things I never thought I'd feel towards Bonnie Bennett. But, in a way, we're trapped in another cell, now, tortured by memories of the people we love and miss, and we've found ways to keep each other sane.

* * *

Tessa is 'resting', though I'm not sure how. We don't sleep here. I don't even understand why she has a bed. Katherine is off doing whatever Katherine does. She's been kind of absent, recently. I should probably pay more attention to what she's up to. I doubt death has made her any less apt to screw us over. It's probably had the opposite effect, actually.

Bonnie and I are laying outside staring at the sky. There aren't stars here, just darkness with streaks and swirls of gray and blue, sometimes dark purple. Despite the barren world around us, I can find beauty here and, for some reason, I can conjure Elena's face easier here. That's another thing that keeps me from losing my mind: realizing I'll go back to her.

"Tessa said that she visited Jeremy in his dreams. Does that mean 'dreamland' is actually just another realm?"

I have no idea. Alternate realities were never my forte. I tell her this and she smiles.

"I don't think its most people's strength, but sometimes it makes me feel better to contemplate."

This strikes me as strange. "Why?"

She props up on her elbow and looks at me. "Because I can." She smiles again. "Because… there is a _ton_ of knowledge out there just waiting to be discovered and I like to run the incredible amount of possibilities through my head. Maybe it makes me feel more prepared to try and think of all the possible outcomes of a situation. Before this, I had no idea how many realms existed or where we would go. The knowledge I've gained here… it gives me peace knowing that the people I loved that were good didn't just disappear. I like knowing there is still a link between me and the people I left behind or the people that have left me." When she finishes, her eyes are shining with tears and I feel compelled to say something, but I don't know what to say, so, I say nothing.

"Dreamland isn't a realm." Tessa says from behind us. "But you're not entirely off. When we dream, we can travel to other realms with our essence, switching from realm to realm as we go. It doesn't always happen, but it's possible."

"Does that mean that Jeremy or Elena could travel here and see us in their dreams?"

She shakes her head. "It's highly improbable. If a person only travels once a month or even once a week, and there are a seemingly endless number of planes, the chances are very small. It's possible, but not likely. And, even if, by chance, they were able to come here, most likely they wouldn't realize they'd interacted with their real loved one instead of just dreaming about them."

Bonnie sighs, obviously disappointed.

"How can we travel through the realms while sleeping?"

"What is a spirit but the mind and soul without the shell of our bodies? While we sleep, those can separate and we can know freedom with the comfort of being tied to our bodies."

Bonnie sits up all of a sudden. "Jeremy came to me once. I just remembered. When the expression was starting to get out of control, I set the couch on fire in my sleep and Jeremy woke me up. I know it was him; he told me there was a fire."

Tessa pauses. "Interesting…"

"Sorry to interrupt your theological discussion, here, but you might want to see this."

"Wow, Katherine, I didn't realize you knew big words like 'theological' and 'this.'" I smile at her.

I flips me off but otherwise ignores me and looks to Tessa.

"Seriously. You need to see this."

We walk outside and freeze. Hideous creatures line the edge of the forest, gaunt and grey with sunken eyes, petrified skin draped across their bones. I can hear their breathing, their hushed whispers, and shrieks all blending together. Wanderers, only this time, without the mirage they usually hide behind. I can see why they'd want to hide…

Suddenly, silence falls. My eyes travel the length of the line to the woods, trying to see how many are pushing against the invisible barrier that holds them back, but I've lost count. My mind can't comprehend that big of a number. They take a collective breath and, very clearly, we hear the breathless whisper "_can't leave."_


	5. Connected

_Disclaimer: I do not own TVD or anything associated with it._

_Thank you so much to everyone that commented, followed, or added this story (or me!) to your favorites list! I appreciate you guys so much! This chapter is pretty long. I know what you are all waiting for and it's coming! Probably next chapter ;) Enjoy! Reviews are not only welcomed but loved!_

_Sorry for any typos. I did most of this tonight after the kids went to bed :/_

**Elena's POV**

We pull up to meet Matt, who is already waiting on us outside the abandoned house I met Jeremy at earlier this week. So, this is it. Tonight is the first move we make to get Damon and Bonnie back. Though I've tried to squash it down, hope builds in my chest. This is real, it's really happening. I take a deep breath and get out of the car.

"Hey, Matt, thanks for doing this on such short notice." I say, giving him a brief hug. I am so grateful that he continues to be a part of my life, even after everything that's happened. I wouldn't have blamed him if he wanted to leave it all behind.

"No problem, Elena. Are you sure about this, though? I mean, taking on all these witches?"

I don't answer him. "So, where are you guys headed?"

He sighs, I'm sure in response to my lack of response about what we're taking on, but I don't know what to say. Yes, I know the risk we're taking. Knowing that just doesn't change anything.

"Not sure yet. Someplace out of the way. I'll text you."

His eyes dart around through the trees and I frown. It's clear his choice to stay in this life has had an impact on him, though, made him a little paranoid. I can't really blame him, I guess. And maybe it _is_ better that he doesn't say where he's taking Liv out loud. You never know who may be listening…

I nod and motion for Liv to get out of the car, which she does with slight hesitation. She's obviously not completely on board with this whole thing. I know it has to be hard to be left behind, especially when it comes to her brother. But I'm glad she realizes that her being there would only serve as a distraction. If she'd been stubborn, I was fully prepared to knock her out and have Jeremy stash her in the cellar at the boarding house. My heart sinks a little at that thought, envisioning the home I can no longer visit. One thing at a time, though. We'll figure that out once we get this taken care of.

I watch Liv as she walks past me to Matt's truck and, just before she reaches it, she stops and turns towards me, placing something cold and surprisingly heavy in my hand.

"I'm sorry… about Damon." I can see tears form in her eyes and her voice breaks on his name, like mine has so many times when I cry his name out at night, begging him to come back to me. "I really tried."

I open my hand to a beautiful, shimmery orange stone set in between two opposing curved pieces of silver.

"This is my sunstone amulet. It will protect you from magic tonight. I don't have any for the others but… I just wanted to give it to you."

I smile and start to thank her but she walks away before I can speak, clearly not ready to have a full on heartfelt moment with me. I did try to kill her the other day so I don't take that personally. I watch them drive off and get back in my own car, click my seatbelt in place, and take a deep breath. Okay, let's do this.

* * *

**Damon's POV – One month ago**

"I thought you said those freaks couldn't leave the forest!"

I slam the door to the tiny hut we all pile into and wish there was a lock on it. I guess Tessa didn't feel the need to put one on here when she made this place, however she did that.

"Can't you lock this place down or something?" Bonnie says, mirroring my thoughts.

"They shouldn't be able to leave the forest. And I can't spend any energy trying to keep them out if they somehow _do _escape because I'm spending it all contacting Jeremy so we can leave for good."

"_We?_" I say as everything clicks into place._ "_That's what you're getting out of this, isn't it? You're coming, too."

Tessa and Katherine exchange looks.

"Yes. We all are."

* * *

"How do you think we all ended up here together, Damon? By chance?" Katherine says, hoisting herself up on the table and tilting her head to the side.

"I thought Bonnie's grandmother made a deal with Psycho Witch."

Tessa glares at me.

"She did." Katherine cuts in front of Tessa. "When I died, I was sucked into Oblivion, aka here. Tessa showed up after a while and offered a solution. She said she'd made a deal with Bonnie's Grams that, in exchange for her life force, she'd bring little Bonnie back to the land of the living. She knew once The Other Side collapsed, Bonnie would die and Jeremy would do anything to get her back, which meant he'd find a witch to help from their side, something we needed to get back but didn't have access to. Now, we will." She looks at me and purses her lips. "We just didn't realize she'd bring a friend along."

"So, why is she helping you come back?"

"I was feeling generous that day." Tessa says, smiling.

I don't believe that for a second. "Yeah, right."

Her grin disappears. "Okay, how about this? It doesn't concern you. Katherine and I have come to an agreement and I'm bringing her back along with you, Bonnie, and myself."

* * *

**Elena's POV**

We try to hide our cars as best we can by parking off the side of a dead end dirt road close to where the abandoned house is. Alaric pulls his weapons bag from the car and meets us all in a circle, handing out grenades and pouches filled with the herbs that should mute the coven's magic. I take Liv's necklace from my pocket and latch its delicate clasp, securing it around my neck. The stone is heavier that you'd expect, cool against my skin, and it makes me nostalgic, reminding me of my vervain necklace. Even though it was given to me by Stefan, it had so many memories of Damon attached to it… like the night he told me he loved me and then compelled me to forget. How long ago has that been? It feels like a lifetime.

"Okay. Does everyone have their protective herb pouches and muting herbs?" Alaric asks, looking at each of us in the circle as we nod in confirmation. "We'll have to be quick." He sighs. "Okay, let's do this."

Stefan and Caroline take off first with Jeremy tailing them. Hopefully, their speed will give them time to take care of some of them before Jeremy gets there. I know why he's doing this; there's no way in Hell I'd let them do this without me when I have so much at stake here… but it doesn't make it easier knowing he could get hurt… or worse.

Enzo, Alaric, and I share a look but no words need to be said. I nod and take off in the direction of the house, pushing myself with everything I have. The wind whips my hair back and I smile, loving the feeling of freedom that comes with running as fast as you can, nothing holding you back but your own limitations. I can hear Enzo and Alaric on my heels and I push with even more force, wanting to get there first. They are both older than me but I engorged myself on so many blood bags before we left that it's given me extra strength and it allows me to keep ahead of them. The edge of the forest is approaching quickly and I stop abruptly, causing Enzo and Alaric to barely miss colliding with me.

"Now I see why Damon had a thing for you. You've got spunk." Enzo smirks, eyeing me.

"Shh." I say, and nod my head to the left. Just outside the side door of the house stand two witches, surveying the forest.

I look back at Alaric and give him a small smile. Awareness creeps into his eyes and I dart out of the woods before he can protest. Within a second, I'm between the witches. I shove my hand into the face of the first, sending him flying, before pinning the second against the side of the house. She raises her hand but I've already grabbed a handful of the muting herbs and I blow them in her face. It takes me a second to realize this girl can't be more than sixteen years old. Fear registers in her eyes before she starts to go limp and my heart sinks.

"Don't worry, I'm not here to hurt you." I whisper, hoping she hears me before darkness overcomes her.

I lay her on the ground as quickly and easily as I can and turn towards the next one before my head explodes in pain. I try to focus enough to grab the muting magic herbs but I can't see, I can't think of anything but the overwhelming burning inside my head. I feel something cold beneath my knees and then my stomach and the side of my face… I must have fallen. My head swims. I just wish I could pass out already.

_Elena. Get up. Fight._ I think it's him. Or, at least, I want to believe it's be him, here with me.

But I can't fight, I can't move, I can't do anything. I just want the pain to stop. I just want it all to be over.

I can feel warm tears leaking from under my eyelids in surrender, leaving tracks down my face, washing away the grime life has put there. How many tears would it take to cleanse me completely? How much would wash away the guilt and pain and loss? How much salt would it take to scrub away the thoughts of death and hopelessness? When glass shatters, it can't be made whole again, not completely, because between all the bigger pieces are the fragments that disintegrate into nothingness. Anyone who attempts to glue it back together only ends up bloody from cuts and disappointed from the realization that something they once depended on has been rendered useless. I think that's true of me. Maybe _I_ can't be made whole again. After breaking so many times for so many reasons, I've finally shattered. And I can't be fixed, I can't be cleansed of all the heartbreak that follows me through life, I can't be saved or made useful again.

"Bloody hell."

I hear movement to my left and it takes me a second to realize the pain is gone. I open my eyes just in time to see Enzo break the neck of the second witch. He slumps to the ground, his dead eyes looking right at me. I feel sick to my stomach.

Someone grabs my arm and pulls me to my feet. Alaric. He's furious.

"What the hell was that, Elena?"

I look from him to Enzo and yank my arm from him. Hurt flashes across his face and I hate myself for it. But I don't have any answers for him so I ignore his question.

"How long was I down?" I sneak a look at his face, hoping he's at least willing to still talk to me.

"Not even 30 seconds." He answers coldly.

I peek inside the house and see no one, but I can hear several pairs of footsteps running towards the front door where Stefan, Jeremy, and Caroline are.

"Go help them out front. We can get in and get Luke."

He doesn't move.

"Seriously, Alaric. We got this."

"I'll make sure she doesn't try anymore kamikaze attacks." Enzo says, looking into my eyes.

What is he talking about?

Alaric nods, obviously appeased by that, and takes off to help the others. I ignore Enzo's glare and step into the house, looking for anyone inside, but everyone upstairs must have gone out front. I flash down the stairs and hesitate at the opening to the basement. Inside, three witches stand around Luke, who is unconscious and bleeding slightly from the head. Blood rushes towards my eyes and I can feel hunger pushing me to feed but I force myself to block it out.

They stand in defensive positions, obviously aware of what's going on around them. Candles line the room, giving them even more to draw on to add to what I assume is already a considerable amount of power, seeing as they are older and most likely well practiced. I can hear grenades going off upstairs and I pull my own out. Enzo and I share a look as I pull the pin and throw it into the center of the room.

Immediately, they drop. I sneak in, noticing that the one closest to the explosion has black burn marks marring her face with pieces of glass stuck in the wounds. I hesitate, wanting to heal her with my blood, but Enzo pushes me towards Luke with a look of confusion. While I pull off Luke restraints, he takes a moment to sprinkle some extra muting herbs on their faces, ensuring they are out and powerless. He does the same to Luke, correctly guessing that Luke won't be too happy to see us.

Luke starts to stir when I lift him up, glancing around the room in confusion before settling his eyes on me. His heart beats a jagged rhythm and he tries to back away, tripping over one of the unconscious witches. He stares at her burnt face for a minute and scrambles towards a corner, holding his hand out. I'm assuming he's trying to incapacitate us, unaware that we've muted his magic, and stares at his useless hand in horror. I raise my hands, palms outward.

"Luke, we're here to help you. Liv asked us to come get you."

He shakes his head fervently. "No. Liv doesn't trust you. She wouldn't do that."

I scowl. "Well, to be honest, I don't much trust her, either. But, we are helping her." I lift the sunstone pendant as proof. "She gave this to me to protect me from magic. She gave us herbs to protect us and to mute the magic of your coven…" He raises his eyebrows. "Well, your former coven."

Enzo sighs. "Listen, mate, we don't have time for this. We've got a battle going on upstairs and we need to get you out of here before the wicked witches wake up. Got it? You can trust us or not, but your magic is muted so, either way, you're coming with us." He grins. "Try to fight and I have no qualms in knocking you out."

He nods weakly and stands, still eyeing the bodies in the floor.

"They'll be fine. Enzo's right, we need to go."

Enzo grabs my arm as I walk past him and, for a moment, I expect some spiel about what I did earlier. Instead, he surprises me and grabs Luke's arm as well.

"I'll take this one back to the house. You go help them. Okay?"

I nod and start to walk again, but he doesn't release me. I look back at him and his deep brown eyes bore into mine. Here it comes.

"What you did earlier was stupid. I don't know why you think dying will solve anything—" I open my mouth to respond but he cuts me off. "And don't say you went in there thinking you might come out because you didn't. You think Damon would want you to die? You really want him to come back to a world without you in it?" I stop, taken aback, and shake my head. "Then be smart and stop trying to get yourself killed because, with or without you, I'm bringing him back." He releases me and stalks off with Luke in tow without another word.

* * *

It takes me a second to shake off the feeling Enzo's words left and head upstairs to everyone else. Once I do, I slowly walk towards the front door and look outside, trying to catch a glimpse of who is where. What I see makes my stomach drop. There aren't just five bodies in the field like there should have been. I look over them all but I lose count of the dark masses covering the lawn when my eyes sweep across one with familiar blonde hair. Without thinking, I open the door and run towards her, reaching her limp body just as Stefan does. His expression kills me, reminding me so much of the one I see in the mirror.

"Is she—?"

"No. She's alive, but barely." He looks into my eyes. "There weren't just ten, Elena. They must have had another coven coming because they came in from behind us and caught us off guard, twelve or more of them. Caroline…" His voice breaks. "She was already on the ground, passed out, before I even realized. We are out of everything, we're out of herbs and grenades. I don't know how many of them are left. Alaric lured some away from us."

"Oh my God, where's Jeremy?"

He shakes his head. "I don't know. I'm sorry, Elena. Did you get Luke?"

I nod. "Enzo took him back to the house. Get her out of here. I'll find Jeremy and Alaric and meet you back there."

He grabs Caroline, her head falling limply to the side, and he's gone before I can blink. I race around the heaps of people lying across the grass in search of my little brother, praying I've not lost him again. Finally, I see movement and speed towards whoever it is, relief washing over me and I see familiar brown eyes.

"Jeremy!"

"Elena… I'm sorry. There were too many—"

"Don't. We have Luke. Just get out of here, get back to my car, and wait for me. Okay?"

He nods and I help him stand, pushing the smell of the blood seeping from his head out of my mind. He takes off into the woods somewhat unsteadily and I run towards the back of the house where Stefan said Ric had lead the others. When I reach him, he's sitting among the bodies of the two we'd taken out earlier and several more, his head in his hands.

"Are they—?"

He nods. "I ran out of herbs and grenades. I didn't have a choice."

"It's okay, Ric—"

"No, Elena, it's not okay. These were people with families. They were right to defend against us. I used to do the same thing. And, tonight, I became the monster I used to hunt."

"No, you didn't. You defended yourself while trying to save someone else."

He laughs humorlessly. "Yeah, I killed five people to bring two back from the dead."

"And to save Liv and Luke's lives. They would have been sacrificed for that spell."

"Yeah." He says, dropping his head, obviously not convinced. "Did everyone else make it out of here?"

"Um, yeah. Caroline is in pretty bad shape and I should go check to make sure Jeremy made it back to my car. He was pretty banged up."

He nods and stands, looking back on the faces of the people whose lives he'd taken, before walking into the cover of the trees. I know this has to be hard for him to go through, being something he used to hate and maybe still does. He lost his wife, twice, Jenna, Damon… he even lost himself for a while. I can still see the exhaustion etched on his face and I can't believe I'd been blind to it until now.

I follow him into the woods and listen to the song of the katydids, the rustle of leaves beneath my feet sometimes followed by the snapping of twigs. Alaric is beside me, now, but neither of us talks until we reach the car. Jeremy is, thankfully, in the back seat resting. I'll give him some blood to heal him later. For now, I know I need to talk to Ric. He must sense it, too, because he speaks before I have the chance.

"What were you doing back there, Elena?"

I drop my head but answer honestly. "I don't know."

"You could have gotten killed."

"I know."

"You've talked about nothing else but bringing Damon back for the past 3 months…"

"I know."

"And, now, when we're so close, you're going to do something stupid like that?"

"I _know, _Alaric! I _know_!" I snap. "Yes, it was stupid! No, I don't know why I did it. I want Damon back more than anything…. But his death changed me, just like becoming a vampire did, just like losing Jeremy did, or my parents, or Jenna, or Bonnie, or any of the people that I have lost! One by one, with the Gilbert ring, your deaths changed you into someone else. Well, one by one, the deaths of the people I love have changed me, too. I feel broken and I'm not sure Damon and Bonnie coming back will magically cure that… but I want it to. I want to be whole again."

"So, you think dying will help?"

"No. I don't want to die. I didn't run into that because I wanted to die, even though I've thought of how much easier it would be to just let it be over. I ran because I want to keep moving forward, because I don't like standing still for too long and for a million other reasons that I can't explain to you because I don't understand them myself. I can't turn off my emotions because I wouldn't care about getting Damon and Bonnie back... but, sometimes, I like to be numb for a little while, to pretend like I can't feel because it hurts so damn much."

He nods for a second and then laughs.

"Damon would have killed you for doing that, you know?"

I smile a little. "I know. I can almost hear him now."

"_What the hell were you thinking, Elena?_" He says in his best Damon impression.

I laugh. "You know, he actually threatened to break my arm once, when I convinced Rose to take me Richmond so I could hand myself over to Elijah."

"He also took an arrow in the back for you, even though you were mad at him at the time."

I feel my smile fade. "He always looked out for me, sometimes more than I wanted him to."

"Yeah, well, now I'm taking over for him until he gets back. So, you try anything else like what you did tonight and I'll lock you in a safe until this is all over. Understood?"

* * *

**Damon POV – Present Day**

Tessa swears she's contacted Jeremy and that his hunter/finding Bonnie instincts have kicked in and led him to the little witch, Liv, that was supposed to get me out in the first place, which doesn't inspire much confidence to begin with. I say, she said that a while ago and we've still not had anything notable happen, so I think some wires got crossed. And whatever has gone wrong, I wish she'd fix it because I'm tired of this place already. I feel like I've spent more time here than I ever did on Earth. Plus, I'm sick of looking outside and seeing those creepy Wanderers skulking about right at the edge of the forest. A couple of times they've actually tried to leave. One actually made it a few feet but was pulled back by some kind of invisible bungee cord or something. I'd really rather not wait and see if they figure out a way to get rid of whatever is keeping them there.

I push back the curtains covering the one small window in this rinky-dink little shack and look outside at the monotonous brown that covers everything. I shut it back and plop down on the bed, closing my eyes. Honestly, I don't think being out here for eternity would be much better than being inside the forest. At least, inside, you forget who you are. Out here, it's just endless time that you can use for nothing else but remembering the people you love and miss. It's torture all by itself.

I think of Elena and the last time I saw her, crying in the floor of that dusty mausoleum. All my life, all I wanted was to be loved and admired the way that Stefan was. Our father only saw disappointment when he looked at me, Katherine used me to make Stefan jealous, Stefan has always hated me to some extent, and for good reason… but Elena… after all the wrong choices I made, she still saw something in me worth loving. She was the only person that ever made me feel like maybe there was something redeemable in me.

I imagine her soft brown hair and kind eyes, the way she smiled when we danced together at the Miss Mystic Falls pageant, how she leaned into me the first time we kissed on her front porch, holding onto my hand. I can see her now, running towards the… is that the old abandoned witch house? This isn't a memory. What is it? I watch her strike a man in the face, pin a young girl and throw something in her face. _Don't worry, I'm not here to hurt you, _she says. The girl goes limp and she lays her down before turning, only to be forced to the ground by the man, who I'm guessing is a witch. She falls to her knees and then to the ground.

_Elena. Get up. Fight! _I yell at her but she doesn't seem to hear me. Tears slide down her face and I can see her give up.

* * *

"Damon!"

I sit up in bed and look around at Tessa, Katherine, and Bonnie, who are all staring at me in shock.

"What the hell just happened?"

"You were yelling something about Elena."

"She… she's in trouble, I think."

Bonnie's mouth drops open. "You saw her? For real?"

"Yeah. I was just thinking about her and, then, I saw her… it was like a memory but it couldn't have been because it never happened. How is that possible? I'm not even a witch."

Tessa frowns slightly. "There's only one other reason I'm aware of that would allow you to make such a connection with someone on a different plane. Twin flames… I believe you call them 'soul mates'."

* * *

**Elena's POV**

When we get back to the house and get everyone cleaned up and healed, we explain to Luke what's going on. Apparently, they've kept him pretty out of it since they captured him nearly four months ago. Matt's text said he took Liv to Caroline's dad's cabin, which is kind of ironic since Luke was there not long ago to try to hide Stefan and I from the travelers. I told Matt to bring her here; I'm sure they are ready to see each other again.

Luke takes another bite from the sandwich I made for him after realizing he wasn't going to be much help without something to perk him up. Enzo suggested alcohol.

"So, let me get this straight. My lovely sister agreed to help you raise two people from the dead in exchange for my life… but you only wanted to save my life because I didn't restore her magic yet."

"Pretty much."

"Wow. Thanks for your concern about my health."

I unintentionally break the glass in my hand. "You're the reason Damon is trapped over there to begin with. So, no, I wasn't super concerned about your well-being. You're lucky your sister is still alive."

Enzo chuckles behind me. "She did almost tear her throat out the first time she saw her. It was really… quite beautiful."

I glare at him and Caroline scoffs from the couch before resuming her second blood bag. Luke gapes at us.

"And you want me to help you? No." He stands.

As if perfectly timed, Matt and Liv walk through the door. Before anyone can blink, I flash to stand behind Liv, twisting her hair in one hand and tilting her head to the side, my fangs bared. I hear several gasps and 'Elena!'s around the room but I ignore them and keep my eyes locked on Luke.

"Do we really have to relive the whole 'either you help us or your sibling dies' thing?" I say.

He doesn't respond so I open my mouth and go to bite her neck.

"Okay! Okay!"

I release her and push her towards him, ignoring the expressions of the faces of my friends that range from concern (Stefan) to outrage (Caroline) to amusement (Enzo).

"We're doing this tomorrow before your ex-coven decides to find you and snatch you from us. Do your reunion thing and we'll get started on this. One of you can gather the supplies to keep yourself hidden from the coven and the other can work with Jeremy on how to go about getting them back. And let me be clear: If you try to run or pull what you did last time, I will hunt you down. Believe that."

I turn and walk past everyone into the kitchen to get some blood. I can hear Caroline's footsteps behind me.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Elena?"

"What?"

"God, you're like a completely different person! Threatening them when Liv might have been able to convince him to help us instead? Your little suicide mission earlier? Yeah, Alaric told me all about it. He's worried about the lengths you'll go to in order to get Damon and Bonnie back. And so am I."

"I seriously doubt she could convince him to help someone that almost killed her a couple weeks ago. And it wasn't a suicide mission." I say, cutting open the bag of blood and pouring it into a cup.

"It sounded pretty reckless and stupid to me. You know, it seems like on your quest to get Damon back, you're turning into him. These are all things Damon used to do and claim they were for love but they weren't! They were from selfishness."

"Again, should I remind you of how you snapped Luke's neck in cold blood to get Liv's help in order to bring Stefan back? How's that saying go? People who live in glass houses..?"

I down my drink and sit it on the counter before walking past her into the living room.

"So, where are we? Liv, are we back in magic business?"

She scowls but nods. I do feel kind of bad for threatening her… again. But, apparently, no one wants to help me otherwise. God, I'm starting to sound like Klaus… or Katherine. I shudder. I don't want to be like them.

"Okay, do you guys need supplies?"

"Yeah, we need some for the cloaking spell, but we don't know what we need for the other spell. Jeremy said something about one of us going into a trance to communicate with a witch they have on their side."

I nod. "Okay. Well, I'll take Liv to get supplies and you stay here and work on that. Sound good?"

Everyone nods and we head out to my car in silence. Once the doors are closed and my car is on, I turn towards her and place the sunstone amulet into her hand.

"Thank you for this. I'm sorry… about threatening you… and biting you the other day. I know you think I'm ruthless, but I just want what you wanted when you did that spell months ago. I want my family back. Even if they aren't blood, that's what they are to me."

I know she doesn't trust me, and I don't blame her, but she nods slightly and I take that as a step in the right direction. Let's just hope I don't have to threaten her life any more.


	6. Reunited

_Disclaimer: I don't own TVD or anything related to it._

_I don't usually upload two chapters this close together but I had ideas in my head that I needed to get out and I figured I'd get it done while I had the chance. My first semester of nursing school starts this coming Monday so it may take some time for me to write after that time. Please don't give up on me, though! I promise to write when I can! I can't thank you all enough for the love!- Krista_

**Damon's POV**

"The last time you talked about prophecy and fate, it was to tell me that Stefan and Elena belonged together and I was merely an obstacle for their undying love to overcome. Now, you're saying _I'm _her soul mate?"

"As much as I hate to say it, it's the only thing that makes sense; it's one of the few connections not severed by death. You and I both know that it was actually Markos drawing them together in an attempt to perform the spell that would undo all witch magic. It was never fate and they were never 'meant to be'. I admit, I wanted to believe that so I could hold onto my hate for Silas. And, now, he's gone… hopefully trapped in a dimension much like this one for all eternity." She smiles.

"Yeah, but soul mates? Really? I thought soul mates were supposed to be happy all the time, writing poems for each other and finishing each other's sentences. We don't exactly fit that in that category. We've broken up several times and then I _died_. If we were supposed to be happy eternally ever after, I want my money back."

Tessa scoffs. "Only in the fictional world is love easy. Soul mates are not some romantic idea concocted by authors who believe love should be constant and unchanging. 'Soul mate' is just a term used to describe two souls who are drawn together despite whatever obstacles they might face. They are a creation of God."

"Really? God?" Even I can hear skepticism coating my words.

"You believe in vampires, werewolves, doppelgangers, travelers, magic, ghosts… but you don't believe in God? A little hypocritical, don't you think?" She smirks. "Call Him what you will: God, a higher power. It's not as black and white as many think it is, but there _is_ a superior being out there that guides us."

"I believe in what I see. And no offense, but have you met me? I don't think any 'superior being' in their right mind would want me to be with anyone."

"Believe what you want. I don't exactly disagree with you, but, fortunately for you, I don't get to make the decisions."

"It makes sense, Damon." I look at Bonnie in shock. Did I just hear her right? "About Elena, I mean. You killed her _brother _and she still dated you."

"He came back to life!" I know, that's not really the point… but it's still true.

"You threatened her life, repeatedly. You killed Aaron Whitmore and were killing his family members off _while you were dating_. And, still, even after her sire-bond was gone, she came back to you over and over again. She always forgives you for everything."

"Oh, God, you guys are making my head hurt with this 'soul mate' stuff. I'm tempted to go join the Wanderers so I can get away from this crap." Katherine snaps, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Well, how about this: you go do that and we'll never think of you again? Sound good? Good." I smile at her. "You know, I think maybe you're just mad because you thought you and Stefan were 'meant to be' and, now, you know you're not." I say, unable to stop myself from antagonizing her. After everything she put us all through, she deserves this and more.

She glares at me and starts to respond but Tessa cuts her off.

"Shh! Something's happening. Someone is trying to contact us."

* * *

**Elena's POV**

"You know, the pendant didn't block their magic. They were still able to drop me. Why do you think that is?"

I look across the car at Liv, sliding the gear shift into park and turning off the engine.

"There isn't anything that can protect you from magic completely. Some of those witches have been practicing for their entire lives, 30 or 40 years. They are extremely powerful. The pendant did its job if you're still alive."

Oh. "Well, thanks again." I tuck my hair behind my ears and sigh. "You can go on in, if you want. I'll grab the supplies."

She looks at me wearily, probably confused by my mood swings, but takes me up on my offer and heads inside. I grab the bags of candles and other various supplies from the car and carry them into the house.

_-need someone to literally travel there in order to get them back. It's dangerous. _I hear Luke say from the living room.

I walk in and everyone turns towards me looking guilty.

"What? What happened?"

I look between my friends but no one seems willing to say anything until I look at Enzo. He rolls his eyes.

"Luke was able to talk to someone over there with Damon and Bonnie. She said that in order to bring them back, one person from each of their bloodlines must travel to get them and bring them home."

"And?"

Luke steps forward. "And it's dangerous. Very dangerous. When we die, our souls are freed from our bodies and able to move to a different plane, which becomes our Heaven or Hell, depending. If you travel to another plane while still alive, your body will act as a tether to _this_ plane, but the farther you wander and the longer you stay away, the weaker the connection gets and the less chance you have of ever returning home."

"I really don't care. I'm going." Why is this even a question?

Luke looks at me with a peculiar expression. "Also… we need to bring their bodies back here. When The Other Side existed, there was simply a veil that hid their spirits from us within the same plane. That allowed them to take form here, to m _manifest_ so to speak. We no longer have that luxury."

"But they've been dead for months… Damon was burned up in the explosion." I cringe, imagining him walking around like that.

"Once his soul is restored, his body will heal. They all will."

"All?"

"There's one more thing." Stefan looks at me grimly. "The witch helping them is Qetsiyah. She has only agreed to help on the condition that we bring her and Katherine back, too."

This takes me aback. "Why the hell would Qetsiyah help Katherine?"

He shakes his head. "I don't know. But she won't help unless we agree."

I can feel my teeth grinding together. "Fine. I know where Katherine's body is; she's still inside the tomb, mutilated from the traveler that allowed her to take over my body. Do you know where you buried Qetsiyah?"

Stefan nods. "I remember. I can get it… her."

"Who are we supposed to get to be her tether, though, if they are supposed to be family? I will go for Damon and we can see if Bonnie's mom will help to get her…"

Stefan sighs. "I can go for Katherine. Could Bonnie's mom bring back Qetsiyah _and _Bonnie, since they are both descendants of her bloodline?"

Luke shakes his head. "It's almost too much to bring back one extra soul with your own. She'd never make it with two."

"Bonnie's cousin!" What was her name? Um… "Lucy. Remember? At the masquerade ball? Bonnie said the witch that helped Katherine link her to me was her cousin somehow. Would that work?"

"It should. Do you know where she is?"

I shake my head. "I've not seen her since the ball. Could you do a locator spell to find her?"

Jeremy steps forward to holds out Emily's grimoire. "I brought this is case we needed it. It belonged to Emily but then it was Bonnie's. Maybe it will help you find her easier."

Luke takes the grimiore and sits in the floor, lighting candles as Liv places them in a circle around him.

"Sa laca tha tarq. Permisso laca tha tar." He repeats over and over again until, suddenly, he opens his eyes. "I found her."

* * *

**Damon's POV**

There is a rumbling outside the house, constant and operating on a crescendo. It reminds me of thunder and gives me the same ominous feeling when I hear it. In reality, it's the Wanderers, trying harder and harder to be released from their prison before we can escape. Tessa says that, on order to bring us back, they will have to gather several things, find a few people, and dig up all of our bodies. For the first time since this all happened, I'm glad to be on this side, the side that doesn't have to dig up bodies that have been rotting for months.

"This is really happening." Bonnie says from beside me, a smile lighting up her face. "We're really going back. And I won't be the anchor anymore! I'll just be a witch again, right?"

Tessa nods. "You're a witch now. We'll have to work together to get out of here along with the witches on their side. You will all return to the state that you left in."

"Woah, woah, woah!" Katherine says, finally paying attention to something other that herself "When I died, I was old and decrepit because of the cure _you _made and Silas hijacked!" Nevermind.

Tessa stares at her blankly. "I meant your form: human, vampire, witch… You were a human and you will return as a human. Damon was a vampire, he'll return a vampire. Do I need to spell the rest out for you?" She rolls her eyes and starts to meditate again but hesitates. "Though, Damon… I do have something to tell you about what it means for you to return home."

"Which is?"

She smiles. "I may have exaggerated a bit when I said you would have come here or gone somewhere worse if not for holding onto Bonnie's hand."

"Exaggerated how?"

"Okay. I lied. Though it's true that your choices in life have a great deal of influence on where you'll go after you die, your last act overrides all. Or, rather, how you die. You committed suicide, but you did so for the greater good, to help people you love. It was the ultimate selfless act; a sacrifice. Therefore, you should have gone to one of the better, brighter planes. Heaven, as most call it."

I shake my head. "I don't think it counts. I did it thinking I'd come back."

Bonnie touches my arm in a gesture that, before all this, would have seemed out of place. "But you knew there was a chance you wouldn't come back and you did it anyway."

I look back to Tessa, whose smile is gone. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because you haven't been as difficult as I imagined you'd be… and because it affects the choice you're about to make. If you were to stay behind, you would not be bound by the deal I made with Sheila Bennett and you would be taken to the realm you were meant to be in."

"No, thanks."

She raises her eyebrows. "I wouldn't take your choice so lightly. Returning to Elena and your old life is an act of selfishness and disrespect. In doing so, you most likely will not be given a second chance to go there if you die again."

"What about me?" Bonnie says, clearly distressed. I don't really blame her, though. She won't live forever and the prospect of staying here longer than she lives on Earth would definitely be a punishment. Her fears are unwarranted, though.

"Your grandmother paid the price for you. You would not suffer the same fate if you were to die."

"Paid the price? What does that mean?"

"It doesn't matter. You need to make a decision, Damon. What do you want to do?"

"I'm going." I say without hesitation. I was never a plan-for-the-future kind of guy, anyway.

Bonnie starts to interject, probably curious about her grandmother's sacrifice, but a strange sound breaks us from our conversation… is that scratching? We all stop and I walk to the window to look outside.

"Damn it!"

Outside is a Wanderer, clawing at the ground in a desperate attempt to not be pulled back into the forest. His hand, or claw is more accurate, I guess, grazes the door every so often, resulting in the chilling scraping noise that lets us know he's right outside. His head flicks in my direction, dark sockets where his eyes should be, and he lets out a screech that costs him a few feet. As I watch him continue to pull with all his strength to stay out of the purgatory that holds him, other figures start to emerge in the same way, fighting desperately to claim our souls before we can leave.

* * *

**Elena's POV**

"Thank you for being willing to help us."

Abby looks at me, expressionless.

"My daughter was dead. She died before she even graduated and I never knew. No one ever told me."

I feel awkward, caught between wanting to comfort her and knowing I can't. "I'm sorry. We didn't even know until right before she was brought back as the anchor." As if that somehow makes it better.

"You said my mother wanted this. Somehow I find that hard to believe. She was always set on following the rules of nature."

I shrug, not really sure what I can say that would negate that. Bonnie always said the same thing, that her grandmother understood the limits placed by nature and abided by them. I don't know why this is different, but I'm sure Luke said that Qetsiyah had mentioned a deal with Sheila Bennett. I tell her that for a second time and stand just as a car pulls up. It's Stefan and Alaric with the bodies.

I rush outside to help them and stop at the sight of the coffins that hold two of the most important people in my life. I remember the memorial we had for them, looking at the closed casket that held Damon because the only part of him we had was the charred body he left behind. And we were lucky to get that from inside the magic-free zone. I picked out his headstone myself; Stefan wasn't ready to do something like that, even after a century and a half with his brother. I guess it never gets easier to lose the people you love no matter how long you live.

_I'm coming for you, Damon. _I think to myself, closing my eyes. As soon as I do, I see a place I've never been before. It's dark, dead, surrounded by dead trees that make up a massive forest. All alone sits a little house that has a small circle of living plants around it. Ghoulish creatures are climbing across the earth towards it in the weirdest way, as if they are struggling against something. I turn towards the house to see what they want so badly and see Damon's face in the window. My heart jumps and I try to go to him but I can't… something is pulling me back.

When I open my eyes, I'm on the ground surrounded by Stefan, Alaric, and Caroline.

"What just happened?" I try to sit and the world spins for a second

"Why don't you tell us?" Alaric says.

I think back and remember the dreary land, ugly beasts, and Damon.

"Damon." I look Stefan in the eyes. "He's in trouble."

* * *

Once we cleared the living room of anything that could be removed and pushed all the furniture against the walls, we lay out the bodies of Quetsiyah, Katherine, Bonnie, and Damon. Lucy, who showed up a few minutes ago, is obviously disturbed by this and I don't really blame her. I try to keep my eyes away from the forms of my two best friends but they keep being drawn back as if I want to punish myself. I bounce my knees in anticipation, terrified and confused by what I saw and really wishing they would hurry up and get this going. I don't think they understand the urgency of "Damon is in trouble."

"Okay. Everything is set up. You guys should lie down and relax your mind. Once I start the spell, I will connect with Qetsiyah, who will act as our guide to their plane. You may not 'wake' where they are, but search for them quickly. I'm giving you limited time to find them before I'll have to pull you back or risk losing you completely. You have an hour, our time. Okay?"

I nod and look at Stefan, wide-eyed. This is it.

I lie back and close my eyes, trying to focus on the sound of my breathing instead of the butterflies in my stomach. I try, and fail, to keep the smile from creeping on my face as I picture Damon's face again, his beautiful blue eyes and sideways smile.

Suddenly, I feel strange… light. I open my eyes and I'm looking down at my own body. I look around and we are all doubles, standing above our lifeless shells. I offer my hand to Stefan and he takes it, offering his to Lucy who offers hers to Abby. I look at Abby and she smiles for the first time since she's been here, holding out her hand to complete the circle. My hand barely clasps hers before a light burns away the image of the living room and I'm standing in the very place I saw earlier.

"Is this it?" Stefan says, looking around the barren land and I nod.

"Yes. There is a little house somewhere. That's where I saw Damon."

"What is _that_?" Abby says staring past Stefan into the woods.

I turn slowly, praying it's not what I think it is… but it is. One of the gray, sickly thin creatures begins to claw its way towards us, screeching.

"I don't know, but I don't think it's our friend. Run!"

We take off, running as fast as we can, which isn't very fast since we're apparently lacking our vampire speed here. More screeches join the one behind us but I don't dare turn around. Lucy cries out beside me and I turn to see the beast swipe at her, catching her leg with its claw. He skin blackens at the touch, almost is if it's dying. Thankfully, his attempt to grab her threw off his footing and he slid backwards until he was swallowed by the darkness of the forest. Abby grabs Lucy's hand and pulls her along in an attempt to keep up despite her wound.

The shrieks reign in from all sides as more of the creatures come crawling from the forest at us. An overwhelming urge to keep moving takes over me, pulling me like a magnet, leading me somewhere. I make a turn around the edge of the woods, heading left and push myself even harder.

"Where are you going?" Stefan yells.

"I don't know, I just feel like I should go this way."

After a couple minutes, I see the outline of a building and point to it.

"There! That's where they are!"

I reach the door first, pounding on it has hard as I can.

"Let us in!"

The door swings open and we pile inside the small room, desperate to escape the monsters outside. Stefan lays Lucy back on the bed and they start to examine her wound. I know I should be more worried about her but all I can see is Damon, standing in front of me, real. I launch myself at him, wrapping my arms around his neck as tightly as I can, savoring the feeling of his arms locked around me, too.

"Is this real?" I whisper to him.

He pulls back and looks into my eyes. "It is." He whispers back and then his lips are on mine.


	7. Home

_Disclaimer: I don't own TVD or anything associate with it. _

_Thank you so much to everyone! I love hearing feedback and getting followers/favorites! I'm sorry this story took so long to post. It's not very lengthy, either, but I wanted to give you guys something, at least. With school in, it's going to be hard to keep writing, but I'm going to try to upload a chapter every weekend while I'm off. For those that read Forbidden, I know it's been forever since my last chapter. I promise, I haven't forgotten you guys, I'm working on it. The chapters in it are just quite a bit longer because I try to cover an entire episode in one chapter. I may have to start splitting them up, though, if that's okay with you guys. Anyway, thank you guys! Enjoy!_

**Elena's POV**

For minutes, or maybe hours or even days, I can't do anything but look at Damon, here, standing in front of me. All concept of time is gone, every other thought that's plagued my mind for these last months has vanished. He's consumed my every thought and feeling since I set eyes on him. His eyes continue captivate me with their stunning blue color, so much brighter than I remember, and the smirk playing across his lips now makes my stomach clench in a deliciously familiar way. I stroke the side of his face with my free hand, running my fingers down his cheek, across his lips, while my other is firmly latched onto his, unwilling to let go for even a moment, not even when I hug Bonnie tightly.

"Guys, can we save the heartwarming reunion for a more appropriate time?" Katherine sneers. "Like, I don't know, when we're _not_ being hunted by demented, ugly creatures hell-bent on keeping us here?"

As if to demonstrate how right she is, a sinister scratching starts outside the door.

Damon looks me over. "Oh, don't worry, Katherine. I fully intend on a reunion when we get home." His smirk widens and his eyes flash, making my knees go weak.

"Oh, God. I think I'm going to be sick."

Stefan stands in front of Damon and I can see all the pain he's felt over the last months shining in his eyes. They nod at each other in acknowledgement and Stefan pulls him into a hug somewhat awkwardly since Damon's hand is still clamped around mine like a vise grip. It seems he's just as unwilling to let go as I am.

"Not to be a buzzkill but something is seriously wrong with Lucy. We need to get out of here. Now." Bonnie says with a look that clearly says she's more worried about Lucy's injury than she's letting on. It's not until she shifts her eyes to mine that I realize she was trying to send that message to Damon instead of me.

Damon turns to Tessa. "You heard the woman. Send out the Bat signal and let's leave this dreary-ass place behind."

Tessa scowls at him but it's not filled with the amount of loathing I've come to expect from her. First, the clear and unexpected connection between Bonnie and Damon and, now, this. I wonder exactly what happened while they've been gone. They have been trapped here together for months, relying on each other, so it makes sense that things would change between them, now that I think about it. I don't know why that thought never occurred to me before. I guess I was too caught up in believing that Damon could have been suffering, which is seems to me that he has been. I didn't even know if he and Bonnie would end up in the same place. I sure as hell never thought he'd be stuck here with Tessa and Katherine.

"I'm trying." Tessa snaps, "Luke isn't responding."

"Well, that's fantastic."

Lucy cries out in pain, tearing me from my thoughts. She's covered in a sheen of sweat and the place on her leg seems to be spreading slowing, necrosis inching across her thigh and leaving behind blackened, rotting flesh, which doesn't even make any sense because she's not physically here.

"Something is happening!" Tessa says, "Luke is almost ready. Grab onto each other."

My stomach leaps. This is it. When I wake up, I'll have my best friend back. I'll have Damon back.

Outside, the Wanderers, as Damon called them, respond to this news by screeching and clawing harder at the door. Suddenly, the door buckles. The Wanderer responsible grabs the splintered wood and is pulled back into the forest by an invisible, unrelenting force, still clutching onto the only barrier we had against them. There are more outside the door, more than I can count, piling on top of each other, fighting to be the first inside the small house.

We back up as far as possible, which isn't far, given the size of this place, but looking at what one touch did to Lucy, I'm positive I don't want to experience that. One of the creatures swipes at us, barely missing, or so I think, until I hear a gasp. Shock registers on features that mirror my own, followed by a sound of pain, and Katherine is dragged, withering and screaming, into the forest.

We barely have time to process what happened before Tessa interjects, looking at Damon and Bonnie.

"She's gone. I'm sorry, but there's no getting her back. You need to leave. Luke is ready."

"_We _need to leave? Aren't you coming?" Damon says, almost sounding upset that she's not.

Tessa shakes her head, seeming oddly okay with this.

"Lucy is weak. She'll barely be able to make it back on her own. There's no way she would be able to take me back with her."

"There has to be a way."

What?

"I'm staying. But you can both make it out." She smiles almost wistfully. "It's not so bad, really. The Wanderers will take me and I'll be able to forget everything I've lost. Now, go. They won't be gone for long."

Damon nods, clearly understanding something I don't, and tightens his grip on my hand. Bonnie grabs her mom's hand and Lucy's and I hold my other hand out for Stefan. Within seconds, the same white light that brought us here envelopes us again and then I'm back in the living room of our temporary house.

* * *

**Damon's POV**

The last thing I remember is looking at Tessa and realizing that she's sacrificing herself for us. She could have grabbed Bonnie's mom's hand at the last second and left Bonnie behind. She could have insisted Lucy try to take her back, knowing it would probably kill her. She didn't. Maybe what she said is true. Maybe it's easier for her to be taken to a place where she doesn't have to remember everything bad that's happened to her. Or maybe she was lying. Either way, she's gone. Katherine is gone. And I'm home.

When I open my eyes, everything is blurry and my head spins. I feel strange, heavy. The sounds of the world seem too loud, too overwhelming: clocks ticking, electric humming, cars passing on the road, animals outside scurrying, the breathing of everyone in the room, heart beats and the swish of blood pumping… especially that one. It makes me feel slightly wild to think about, the hunger that I've not missed returning full force.

"Damon."

Someone touches my arm and I jump at the contact. It feels different than I remember. I blink my eyes, trying to rid of the film that seems to have permanently stuck to my eyeballs. I guess being dead can do that to you. When my eyesight clears, I look to my right at the person who said my name. It's Bonnie. She made it back. I can't help but smile at that. After everything we've been through together, it feels good to be back here together. It feels right. I don't know if you'd call what we have a friendship, but it's definitely more than it ever was and more than I ever expected it to be.

I look over at Elena, who seems to be just waking up. She sits up and holds her head, probably to steady herself. That trip couldn't have been easy. Finally, she looks over at me, her chocolate eyes tearing up immediately and she wraps me in a hug, the first solid hug I've had in what feels like a lifetime. I take it all in, her scent, the feeling of her arms around me. I've imagined this moment a million times over and it was never as good as this.

Bonnie stands up and is quickly ambushed by Jeremy, closely followed by Caroline and her mom. I know she has had a lot of crap with her mom in the past, but I'm thinking bringing her back from the dead earns her a lot of points. Bonnie must agree because she doesn't hesitate to hug her in thanks.

Elena pulls away from me, I'm sure to give me a chance to have my own little family reunion. Still, she stays close by as she hugs Bonnie, both of them crying, now. Somewhere among the I-missed-you's, Stefan comes over and pulls me into a hug, a real one this time. There is a lot that we let unfinished when I died. You'd think that after spending 170-some years with someone, you'd have said everything you ever needed to. Somehow, it doesn't work that way. I guess the Original family is a testament to that. Over 1000 years and they _still _bicker and continue to make the same mistakes.

He pulls away and smiles. I smile back.

"Good to see you, brother."

He nods.

"You, too."

I don't really know what else to say. I don't know the protocol for coming back from the dead. Maybe I should talk to Jeremy about that. He's died enough. He should know.

Behind Stefan is Alaric. I laugh and give him a hug, too.

"It's good to see you, buddy." He says, and I think I detect tears in his eyes when he pulls away. "I missed you."

"Yeah, you, too. Anything interesting happen while I was gone?"

I mean it as a joke but something flashes in his eyes and he glances at Elena. What the hell was that about? As soon as I notice it, though, the looks is gone and he sighs, nodding.

"We'll have to catch up one day."

I nod and he walks away towards Bonnie, too, making his rounds. Suddenly, I notice someone unexpected leaning against the wall of this unfamiliar house with his arms crossed. Enzo.

"So." He says with his usual smirk. "Dead, huh? How was it? I hear the place is a bit different since I left."

"It wasn't a vacation. It sucked."

He smiles and pulls me into a half hug.

"Yes, well, let's avoid it in the future, eh?"

I laugh, realizing this is probably as close to an 'I missed you' as I'll get from him. I'll take it.

"I have every intention of that."

I watch everyone around the room, smiling and laughing like this is the first time they've done it since we left. Bonnie smiles at me from across the room. Jeremy nods at me from behind her and smiles a little. I smile back, appreciative of his non-emotional reunion style. The only person I've not seen is… Caroline. I turn and come face to face with her.

"Damon. How does it feel to be back in the land of the living?" She tilts her head to the side.

I clear my throat. "I don't know, Caroline. Most of you are dead." I smile and she hits my arm.

"Oh, how I missed your little jokes." She says sarcastically.

"Back at you, Barbie."

She sighs.

"Okay. You know it's going to happen, so, let's just get this over with, okay? Come on. Bring it in."

She opens her arms and I lean into her hug, counting the seconds until it's over. But when I pull back, she looks at me seriously.

"I'm glad you're back, Damon."

Elena circles back over to me, smiling and crying at the same time. Despite her smile, her eyes still look sad and I hate it. She kisses me, tentatively, almost like she thinks I'm going to disappear in a puff of smoke. It makes me sad that she still seems to be waiting for this all to be end, like she's expecting to wake up from a dream. What happened to her while I was gone?

Slowly, her actions become more familiar; her hands tangle in my hair, pulling me to her, and I kiss her deeply, tasting the tears that continue to fall down her face. When we finally pull away from each other, it takes us a minute to realize that the room is silent. It quickly becomes obvious that something didn't go as planned and I remember Lucy's injury. Everyone is gathered around her. She still lays unmoving on the floor. I can hear her heart beat and the sound of her lungs working hard to bring air in.

"She's not waking up." Bonnie says, looking up at me.

Without thinking, I bite my wrist and bend down.

"It won't work." She says, her voice cracking, and I stop. "Her soul was damaged in the Wasteland. Not even vampire blood can heal that."

Her eyes shine with tears and I can't stop myself from wrapping my free arm around her. I can see Jeremy giving me 'the eye', and he's not the only one, but I don't care. They'll get over it. Eventually, she smiles a small smile, which I know is completely fake and just a way to convince me she's okay, before she pulls away and goes back over to Jeremy.

"Is there something else we can do?"

Luke speaks up for the first time.

"Not tonight. Liv is still working on keeping us hidden. It's a long story." He says in response to my confusion. "Tonight's spell exhausted me. We will work on it tomorrow, but I don't want to lead you on. There may be nothing we can do."

Caroline leans down to look more closely at Lucy.

"I just thought she was taking a little longer to wake up."

She looks over at Tessa and Katherine's bodies.

"What about them?"

Elena and I exchange looks.

"They aren't coming back." Stefan says, dropping his eyes. "Katherine was… taken. And Tessa couldn't make it because Lucy was already injured."

"Well, that's a good thing, isn't it? That they aren't coming back?"

I tense and feel Elena's eyes on my face, appraising my every expression. I know she doesn't understand what happened over there and I don't know that I can ever make her understand. I'm sure the same is true of what happened over where while I was gone, though I have every intention of trying to find out through Alaric. Something about his look makes me curious. Did he mean something is wrong with Elena? I look at her beautiful face and she smiles at me. I mean, it can't be that bad, right?


	8. Together

_Disclaimer: I don't own TVD or anything associated with it._

_Okay, I know I haven't had much in the way of storyline over the last couple chapters. Since I'm cutting back on length, I'm still getting some Delena stuff going and that's taking up most of the last couple chapters. More actual storyline stuff is coming, I promise! This one has a little more mature content. Not much, I try to keep it modest. Thanks to anyone who reviewed, followed or added this story to your favorites! You guys rock!_

**Damon's POV**

I look around at the Wasteland, bored out of my mind. That's probably one of the hardest parts about being here: the endless amount of time you have to do nothing but sit around and think about your life and how you screwed it all up. It kind of reminds me of what Mason Lockwood said when he came back. You know, after her tortured me. The only plus about The Other Side was you could still see your family, even if they couldn't see you. You could even talk to them through Jeremy… when he wasn't dead.

I hear the door behind me creak and I turn, expecting to see Bonnie or Katherine, but it's Tessa. She looks exhausted from trying to contact Jeremy again so we can get out of here. It's strange to think of being tired here because I'm not, ever. I don't sleep, which is actually kind of crappy because, at least in a dream I could escape this place. Still, I guess using her magic for such an extended amount of time is taxing, even for a witch as powerful as she is.

"Taking a break?" I say, turning my eyes back to the dry, dead earth, tracing patterns into the dirt with my finger.

"Yes. It must be day there because I'm unable to find Jeremy."

She sighs and tilts her head back like she wants to soak up the sun, only there isn't any sun in this place. This is probably the first time she's actually relaxed since we've been here. How long has it been, again?

"So, what did you do here all day before we showed up? This place isn't exactly entertaining."

She smiles a little.

"Not much, actually. I worked on getting the plants to flourish instead of die, build my connection with nature again. I never lost it, really, but it wasn't pure like it should have been because of my obsession with Silas and making him suffer. It consumed me. Here, that's gone. He's gone. And I finally realized that my hatred for him never did any good, so, even in death, I don't feel any sense of peace."

She laughs.

"Though it _was_ fun for a while, to see him pay for everything he did."

"You… are a very creepy person." I say, but I can't help smiling, considering the number of times I have inflicted pain, tortured people. And considering that I have punished my own brother ever since we turned.

"From you, I'll take that as a compliment."

I look over at her. She's looking off into the forest with a strange expression, softer, somehow, than her normal look. It makes me curious…

"What do you see? In the forest, I mean. What appears to draw you in? I'm guessing that's how you knew about the Wanderers."

She looks at me, clearly contemplating whether I'm worthy to hear something so obviously personal.

"My daughter. I see my daughter."

* * *

Something jars me awake and I sit up in bed, still disoriented with my surroundings, and it takes me a minute to realize where I am. I'm home. Elena lays beside me sleeping and, from the lack of sounds throughout the house, I'm guessing everyone else is down, too.

I try to rub the tension from my face, hoping to erase the feeling that my dream has left me with. Like with Bonnie, I don't know what you would call the relationship I developed with Tessa. We weren't exactly friends… mostly, I think we just developed a mutual understanding of each other. Yes, she went crazy and was vengeful towards a couple of people for over 2000 years. But it's not like I had a lot of room to judge. I lost count of the lives I've taken many years ago. Most of them I didn't even know their names. As for Tessa, it turns out there was more to her story than any of us ever knew.

She'd had a daughter. She'd given birth to Silas' child, Alethea, and then was killed by the Travelers and denied the chance to ever know her. They'd raised her own flesh and blood to hate her, to see her as an abomination for the immortality spell she'd created, and she watched, helpless, from The Other Side. I don't know why I never wondered how their family line carried on after Silas was entombed and she'd been killed young. Now I know. I tried to be empathetic, something I'm working on and still not very good at. Plus, I've never had a desire to have children, not that I could. But I could see her story from a different perspective; the perspective of the child that hated their parent. I hated my own father because all he ever gave me was criticism and words of his disappointment. I hated him rightfully. It was different with Tessa and her daughter.

I shake my head, trying to rid myself of these memories. I know it's just the night after I came back but I really hope my whole life, or un-life, isn't going to be plagued by nightmares of things that happened in the Wasteland. Especially since, if I die again, that's where I'm headed back to, or worse. I left that little detail out when talking to Elena earlier, though we, thankfully, haven't had much time to go into depth about what we've both been up to this whole time. I know that moment is coming. I know she's curious about everything. Even if she doesn't say it, her expression always gives her away. I can't say I'm not curious, too.

I look over at her again, noting the dark circles under her eyes. She constantly looks like she's going to fall over from exhaustion, now, and it leaves me with an uneasy feeling, just like Ric's not-so-subtle look earlier.

I slip out of bed, hoping not to disturb her, but I have to get out of here. I'm wide awake and hungry now. The urge to feed has been getting stronger since I came back and I feel jittery, on edge. Even several blood bags before bed didn't satiate my hunger. In the basement, I open up another bag, savoring the taste of the blood, even if it is a little cold for my taste. I didn't miss the hunger that comes with being a vampire, but the euphoria of drinking blood makes up for it. Plus, there are other perks: the speed, immortality (assuming you don't get staked or, you know, blown up), compulsion, the power. There's that pesky issue with the sun but that's nothing a daylight ring won't fix. I look down at my own ring… which is apparently missing. I don't think Bonnie would have an issue making me another once she's up to it but I'm not sure how I feel about having a different ring than I've worn for the last 145 years. I guess it's a good thing I figured out it was missing before I went on a morning stroll.

Too soon, I hear the slurping sound that tells me my blood bag is empty and I pull another from the fridge. Don't they have a microwave in this place? Maybe it'll fill me up more if it's warm.

Before I can make it upstairs, though, a horrible scream pierces the air. Elena. I drop the bag and I'm upstairs before it can hit the ground. I find Elena frantic in bed, her eyes wild as if she's caught between sleep and wakefulness, saying my name over and over. I grab her shoulders, trying to get her to look at me, but she just looks past me like I'm not here.

"Elena! Elena!"

Finally, her eyes start to focus and she looks at me, tears immediately springing to her eyes. I pull her close and kiss the top of her head, hyper-aware of the warm teardrops that continue to fall from her eyes onto my chest.

"I'm here. I'm home."

* * *

Elena finally settled back down, not really willing to go into much detail about what her dream consisted of. All she would say was that she thought she'd imagined the whole 'bringing me back from the dead' thing. I told her I don't know why her dreamland version of my return would include the creepy Wanderers and Lucy's unlucky run-in with one of the gruesome freaks. I think that helped, her realizing that, if she'd imagined something like that, it probably would have went much smoother than the actual plan did. That's usually how it works. I have to say, we are really good a screwing up plans.

After she'd finally accepted that I was, in fact, here with her, she'd curled herself around me and rested her head on my chest. Now, she's sleeping, seeming to be completely at peace, and I can't get my mind to shut off long enough to catch some sleep, myself. I keep wondering what's going on inside her beautiful, little head. She looks peaceful enough, but, then again, she did earlier, too. I don't understand what happened after I died. I knew she would miss me… that was pretty clear when I was forced to give her a goodbye I knew she'd never hear. But look at all she's been through! She lost her parents, adoptive and biological, her brother and best friend multiple times, her Aunt Jenna, Stefan, temporarily, Ric, and every single time, she's come back. A sinister thought in the back of my mind tells me that maybe my death was just the one that broke her. The straw that broke the camel's back, they say. I don't believe that, though. I can't. The strong and confident girl I love is still in there. It'll just take time for her to heal. I sigh and clench my jaw with resolve. She'll be fine. We'll get through this.

* * *

I don't know how long I've been laying here. The clock on the nightstand reads 5:15 AM, mocking me with its bright red numbers, reminding me of the rest I can't seem to get. You'd think after not sleeping for months, I'd be exhausted, but I can't get my mind to turn off. Too much has happened, is _still _happening. I stare at the ceiling, counting the beats of Elena's heart. I've reached over a hundred when her breathing changes and I know she's awake. She sighs and, from my peripheral, I see her staring at me, the heat of her gaze familiar, tugging at a memory from what seems like forever ago, when she stared at me in the dark of a hotel room.

"Are you really here with me again?" She murmurs, reaching out to trace along my cheek.

"I'm really here."

I roll over and look into her eyes. They are a beautiful, chocolate brown, almond shaped, and filled with the flame of curiosity that she's always had. But, now, there is something else that lies behind them… something new and almost sad. It's different than the dead look she had when she shut out her humanity and, somehow, scarier, because I don't know how to help her. I don't know how to heal her. I can't take away whatever it is she went through these last few months and I hate it.

She touches my forehead. "What are you thinking about?"

"I just can't believe I'm home." I say, giving her a half-truth.

Suddenly, she smiles and her face lights up just like it used to.

"What are _you_ thinking about?"

She giggles, a sound I've missed.

"Just thinking about last summer."

* * *

**Elena's POV**

Damon smiles, awareness creeping into his expression as he realizes what I mean. My stomach is in knots, just like it used to be, even before I could admit to myself what I felt for him. How can this feel like he never left and like we're starting over all at the same time? How can it feel familiar _and_ new?

He leans in and places feather-light kisses from the corner of my mouth, across my cheek, down my neck. Again, he evokes contradictory sensations, my skin covering in goosebumps and burning at every nerve ending all at once. I can hear myself gasp, breathing so loud it's almost embarrassing as he rolls over and pins me to the bed, kissing across my chest, down my stomach. Finally, I can't take it anymore. I pull him back up to me, kissing him over and over again, his mouth molding to mine like we were made for each other.

Before I can even process what's happening, what I'm doing, or consider the fact that we're in a house full of very hearing-sensitive vampires, I'm pulling his shirt off and he's pulling off mine, both of us wild with an emotion that I can't even name. He stops for a second, reaches down and lifts the chain that's held his daylight ring for the past few months, looking down at it with an expression of something close to awe. For one second, we pause and I stare into his beautiful, crystalline eyes, breathing heavy and exploding with emotions I've not even thought of since the day he left me behind. Then, when I can't bear the distance anymore, we come together, lost in passion and the whispers of each other's names.


	9. Unstable

_Disclaimer: I do not own TVD or anything associated with it._

_Hey guys! Just a little segment to hold you over. The next post might take a little bit because I'm kind of bouncing between two different ideas and I want some more time to think it through before I jump in, post it, and then decide I don't like it. Sorry that it's all depressing lol Happiness will come in time! A special shout out to **Helene08** for consistently posting reviews for me! Thank you so much!  
_

**Elena's POV**

When I open my eyes, the sun is casting golden rays across room and Damon is gone from the bed. For a second, I'm frantic again but it's getting easier to believe he's back with me again. There's no way I could have imagined what happened in the early hours of the morning. I smile to myself and climb out of bed, grabbing his t-shirt from the floor and sliding it over my head. After pulling on some shorts, I go downstairs in search of him.

"There she is!" I hear immediately as I enter the kitchen. "Heard your little escapades this morning. Seems Damon didn't waste any time once he got back."

I glare at Enzo from across the counter and he chuckles.

"Ah, well. I've heard morning exercise is good for you. Get the heart pumping, that sort of thing. I do love a good morning workout. In case you're interested, Blondie." He says, looking towards the door as Caroline walks in, mouth agape.

"Sorry, I don't sleep with… you." She says, clearly caught off guard by his suggestion. He laughs and walks past her into the living room, purposefully brushing against her shoulder on the way out.

"Ugh, did we really have to being him back from the dead?" She says, shaking like she's trying to get something off her.

"I heard that!" He calls from the living room.

"I know!" She shoots back.

I roll my eyes. Oh, Caroline. I remember her saying something about never being anyone's first pick a couple of years ago. If she could only speak to her younger self now. She ending up dating Matt, then Tyler, then captured the interest of the oldest and deadliest vampire hybrid on Earth, and, now, she's the focus of both Enzo and Stefan's attention, even if Stefan is still trying not to admit that to himself. I have a feeling that, had Damon's death not affected him so much, they would have already been dating. Oddly, I'm okay with that. As long as they are happy, I'm happy for them. Plus, they are both incredible people and they each deserve someone as amazing as the other, if that makes any sense.

Caroline looks me over skeptically.

"How are you doing?" I can hear the implication in her question. Everyone is waiting for me to lose it.

"I'm fine. More than fine. I'm happy." I say, sipping my coffee. "How is Lucy this morning?"

She frowns. "No change. Luke and Liv are working on something but it's going to take some time." She looks at me again. "You sure you're fine? I mean, last night it kind of sounded like you had another nightmare."

"Listen, I said I'm fine, Caroline. It's been a hard few months and all of that doesn't just magically disappear. But it will get better. It's just going to take a little bit." I look around outside. "Where is Damon?"

"Oh, he and Stefan left for a few minutes. They said they'd be back soon."

I reach up to grab Damon's ring and realize it's gone. He must have taken it this morning while I was asleep.

"Hmm. Bonnie?"

"She and Jeremy are… spending time together."

"Oh. _Oh! _Ew!"

She laughs. "You're one to talk! You guys weren't exactly quiet this morning."

"You didn't have to listen, you know." I say, smiling at her.

"Kind of hard to ignore."

* * *

**Damon's POV**

"She's not stable."

I look back at Stefan.

"What do you mean 'not stable'? What exactly has she done to make you think that? She bit Liv? So, what? She deserved it! She has nightmares? She's been through a lot."

"You're not listening to us, Damon." I look over at Ric, his face contorted into the same expression he wore last night. "She was reckless to the point that she didn't care whether she lived or died. She ran into that house full of witches knowing, maybe even hoping, that they would kill her."

"She's feeding on humans again." Stefan says in a low tone, his head dropped.

"What?" Apparently, Ric didn't know about this either. "When?"

He looks up at us both. "A few weeks. She woke up one night after a nightmare. I went to check on her and she had gone out the window. I followed her, Damon. She's been feeding on people and, a few days ago, she killed someone."

"And you didn't think to tell me?" Ric says, obviously upset.

"No." I shake my head. "Come on, this is Elena. You know her. She wouldn't do that. You must have made a mistake."

"There's no mistake, Damon! She's been doing it for weeks!"

"Then why didn't you stop her? Huh?"

"I did! I even confronted her about it afterwards and she acted like she didn't know what I was talking about. I don't think she knows she's doing it."

* * *

When we get home, I feel strange. I don't know how to talk to Elena about the things I know we need to talk about. We walk inside and she sits smiling on the couch, radiant and happy, just like I remember her. I smile at her as genuinely as I can but, instead of sitting down, I motion for her to follow me outside. I think this will go over better if we're away from prying eyes and listening ears.

"What's going on?" She says, intuitive as always.

I sigh. "Nothing. I just figured we could talk about everything. There's a lot we've not had the time to say since I've been home. Well, we had the time but decided to use it for… other things."

She nods in understanding. "Stefan and Ric told you that I went a little crazy over the summer, didn't they?"

"No, I wouldn't say—"

"They're right."

I stop. "What?"

She looks at me seriously. "Damon, you _died_. You were the _one thing_ that made me glad I could live forever. And then you were gone and I was alone. What was I supposed to do? I lost you and I lost my best friend. Tell me what the correct response to that is. Because I sure didn't know how to deal with it. So, yeah, I did go a little crazy. I had nightmares _every night_. I dreamed of losing you every night, so I never really healed. But it allowed me to never give up on finding you and bringing you home." She laces her fingers around my neck, tears shining in her eyes. "And none of that matters, now, because you _are _home. And we can live together for eternity, just like we were supposed to."

She kisses me lightly and pulls me into a hug. I wrap my arms around her, hating that I was the one that caused her this pain. And, at the same time, hating that I can't shake the feeling that Stefan and Ric are right, that something else really is going on with her. After a few minutes, she pulls away and wipes the tears from her cheeks.

"I want to show you something." She grabs my hand, pulling me towards the back of the house.

Inside, sexual innuendos continue to fly out of Enzo's mouth and I flip him off without even looking at him as I walk up the stairs, inciting a round of roaring laughter. Elena doesn't comment on his less-than-gentlemanly comments but, when she closes the door to her room, I think I see a lift in her cheek. I look around the room, the first time I've really paid attention, and realize it is completely devoid of any personality, the complete opposite of her old bedroom, which was filled with all the many pieces that make Elena who she is. She had pictures of friends a family, books, stuffed animals, pictures that Jeremy had drawn. Here, there are only blank walls, a dresser, and a bed covered in nondescript bedding. It's kind of creepy, actually, like the rooms you would find in an asylum.

When she turns around, she unexpectedly pushes me down on the bed, kissing me and, for a second, I think Enzo might have been right. But, too soon, she pulls away and starts rummaging through her drawers. Finally, after some digging, she pulls out an old black book with golden patterns on the front and around the page edges. It looks worn and I realize it's a journal.

Instead of explaining anything to me, she just hands it over and sits down beside me. I pull apart the pages, which are surprisingly sturdy considering their fragile look, and flip through pages and pages of letters that she wrote to me. She must have wrote in it every day that I was gone. The last entry is dated the night that I came home.

"I never gave up on you, Damon." She says, looking me dead in the eye. "Never."

* * *

_"Dear Damon," _I read, noting the tear-marks and smudges across the page. _"It's been one week since you left. The nightmares aren't getting any easier. They are a blessing and a burden wrapped into one. Stefan tries to help but how can he? He wakes me up when he hears me screaming but sometimes I'd rather him leave me to go back to sleep so I can see you again. It's hard, seeing you and knowing that none of it is real. It's even harder when I wake up and I can't see you at all. At least in the dream, I can remember you clearly... here, the details that I thought I'd never forget seem to slip slowly away. I feel empty, incomplete. That's so cliché to say, I know. I can just hear you now comparing it to a Lifetime movie... But it's true. I'm sorry that I took you for granted. I'm sorry that I never said any of the things I should have said when you were here. I should have been there with you. At least then we'd be together. But I'll find a way to bring you back. No matter what. I'll find a way."_

I flip ahead.

"_Dear Damon, it's been 5 weeks. I thought it would get easier. It always got easier before… why can't I seem to feel anything this time?"_

_"Dear Damon, another dead end on bringing you home."_

I lean back and close my eyes, fragments of sentences I've read running through my mind. _I miss you. I love you. I feel dead. You promised me. You promised me. You promised me._


	10. Killer

_Disclaimer: I do not own TVD or anything associated with it. _

_Thank you to all the fans that have been patient with me and waited for me to put something up on this story. My mind was bouncing back and forth between two ideas with this one so I primarily focused on Forbidden in my free time until I could sort out what I wanted to do. I hope you like what I ultimately decided. I know it's not super long, but it's something, at least. I would love to hear some feedback! Thank you guys!  
_

_Also, feel free to message me with suggestions! _

**Damon's POV**

From the time I was a child all the way through my 170-some-odd years, I have wanted, more than anything else, to be loved, wholly and completely. It sounds so cliché and whiny and it's not like I was crying in a corner for all these years. I came to accept that it wouldn't happen a long time ago. I knew I would never get love or anything resembling acceptance from my father, my mother passed away pretty early in my life, I was always too competitive with Stefan, Katherine never cared about anyone other than herself… There were countless women along the way whose faces and names I don't remember but none of them _meant _anything. And, then, there was Elena.

I knew I wanted to be with her the minute I talked to her. And what's amazing is that if I had not compelled her to forget, she would have gotten to know me before Stefan and her view of me would have been completely different from the beginning. But, I did compel her and she forgot me… and when she met me again, she saw me as the dangerous, reckless (and devastatingly handsome) older brother of her new beau. I loved her long before she could ever see me for anything but a monster, which I don't necessarily disagree with. I am a monster in many ways. I don't pretend to be anything more than a man who will lie, manipulate, torture, and kill to get what I want, which is usually just to protect myself and the people I love. But she changed me, the only person who has ever really been able to. She made me believe I could be more than what everyone else said I was. And she loved me even when I failed, even when I killed Aaron, even when I proved to be unworthy over and over again.

Now, she lays beside me, sleeping soundly, but, for the second night in a row, I can't seem to do the same. All I can focus on is the cold, hard truth, which is: my death nearly destroyed the person I love most in this world. My own reckless behavior caused her pain… again. And, not only that, it drove her to choices she would have never made in a million years. The truth is that after fighting through so much to be with her, after fighting against every person that said I was not worth loving, that I was not good enough for her, that she shouldn't love someone like me, it turns out they were all right. I changed her by leaving her. Even if my choice was what some would consider 'noble', a sacrifice, the truth is that it was _that_ _very choice,_ to be selfless, that ruined it all, which I believe is incredibly ironic. Oh, the universe. Always throwing curveballs like that.

And, now, I'm stuck… because I don't know how to help her overcome this, I don't know how to be there for her like she needs me to be. I was never good at that whole side of relationships; that was always Stefan. I mean, we all saw what happened the last time I tried to comfort her… I told her to turn her emotions off and she turned into a lunatic. So, yeah. Not my strong point.

I still believe that the strong, fearless girl I remember is in there. She's just been repressed by constant grief and heartache. But, if she can overcome becoming a vampire, being hunted constantly, losing her Aunt Jenna and her own _parents_, she can overcome this. I just need to talk to the person that helped her through all that. Stefan.

* * *

I don't remember falling asleep but when I wake, the sun is too high in the sky for it to be morning. The bed is empty and the silence the fills the house is eerie. It reminds me too much of the Wasteland, where the emptiness of the land had a sound all its own… hollow, dead. It made you feel the same inside after a while. "Hell" is an appropriate word, even if it's not the kind of hell most people imagine. It was more subtle in how it drove you crazy, made you feel trapped, alone, suffocated in the open air. Supposedly, inside the forest, you wandered until you lost your memories and, eventually, your mind. But, to be honest, if I hadn't known I could come home, I probably would have given into the lure of the woods that offered some type of relief from the memories that haunt you every moment you're there. Even with several people around I sometimes felt like I would go insane from the horrible aching that gnawed at your insides, the effect that place had on you… I shudder. It's not something you easily forget.

I climb out of bed and wander the halls of the temporary home they've made. Amazing that they have been here for months and it barely looks lived in.

"Hello?" My voice falls flat in the air.

Again the word 'eerie' comes to mind.

"Elena?"

I hear a creak and turn around. It's Bonnie. We haven't spent much time together since we've been back and it feels awkward, now, to be back in the real world where we used to hate each other and still have the bond we formed in our own temporary purgatory.

"Where is everyone?"

It's only now that I realize her face is tearstained, her eyes red. I feel an overwhelming urge to hug her or comfort her somehow but I'm not sure how.

"Lucy has taken a turn for the worse. She still hasn't woken up and we haven't been able to find anything that looks very promising." Her bottom lips starts to quiver again and I pull her into a hug. "I don't know what to do. She shouldn't have even been in there."

"I'm sorry. We'll try to figure something out."

She nods but doesn't really reply and pulls away just as Caroline walks by, eyeing us skeptically.

"Hey. Where's Elena?"

They look at each other.

"I haven't seen her since last night. Since you've been holed up in your room all day, I thought she was, you know, with you…" Caroline says, raising her eyebrows.

"If she was _with me_, you would know it." I smile at her shocked expression.

Bonnie rolls her eyes. "Seriously, though, guys. If none of us have seen her… where is she?"

* * *

**Elena's POV**

An odd sounds wakes me. Is that… a bird? I open my eyes and glance around at the unfamiliar forest, wiping dirt and wet leaves from my jeans. Where the hell am I? I don't recognize any of this… The sun shines bright, still high in the sky, so it's close to the middle of the day. How did I even get here? The last thing I remember is going to sleep beside Damon last night… Oh, God. Damon. He's got to be freaking out.

I pull out my phone but the battery bar blinks and the screen goes blank. That's just great. I stand and brush my tangled hair back from my face where it's become wet and matted to my cheek and notice something on my hand. Something red. Blood.

I look down horrified and realize my hands are stained with it. I use the reflective surface of my phone to look at my face. Blood has dried around my mouth like a gruesome shade of lipstick and I drop my phone, backing away, wanting to run from this place, only to trip over something heavy. I close my eyes and take a deep breath before opening them to look into the cold, dead eyes of not one, but several strangers in varying stages of decay around me. My scream is muffled by the flap of wings as surrounding birds try to escape the shrill sound.

What have I done?


	11. Sorry!

Hey, everyone! I'm sorry that I don't have a story update yet. This week is midterm and I haven't had any free time to write. The good news is that Thursday starts fall break so I should have at _least _one chapter for each story uploaded over that weekend, maybe more. Sorry for the delay. You guys are awesome for your patience!

-Krista


	12. I haven't forgotten you!

Hey, everyone!

I really hate putting this on here as a chapter because I hate getting people's hopes up that another part of the story has been added when it hasn't. Unfortunately, this is the only way to talk to you all collectively, especially seeing as many of my fans are Guests and I have no other way to contact them.

First off, I want to thank every single one of you that has stuck with this story, even when updates are few and far between. I want to stress that I **_have not forgotten you._** Quite the opposite, really. I think of you all every single day (that is not an exaggeration, either). I don't want to bore you all with the details of why I've not had time to write because there are many. Let's just say there have been family emergencies and multiple hospital trips in my life every week since this semester began. Hopefully, most of you can understand why those things, my studies, and my children and husband must come first.

That being said, I **am** working on updates for BOTH stories, constantly turning ideas in my head, and ever-aware of your patience and loyalty. I have been working ahead on my homework to clear out some time to write and, with exams in all my classes having taken place over the past few days (except Micro on Wednesday), I will have free time this weekend to work on these stories, barring any other emergencies.

I truly love and appreciate you guys, your input, and your reminders that you are still with me. Thank you all so much. Your wait will (hopefully) be worth it.

Krista


	13. Shame

_Disclaimer: I do not own TVD or anything associated with it!_

_To my fans, thank you for your patience! This isn't a very long chapter but it's something to (hopefully) hold you over until this weekend. Also, to my fan, __**Lala**__, I replied to your review with another review since I didn't have another way to contact you and I didn't want to post another non-chapter chapter, if that makes sense. Anyway, it's on the review page, as is a reply to __**Helene08 **__:) Thank you guys! I hope you all enjoy._

**Damon's POV**

"Damn it. Her phone is going straight to voicemail."

Where the hell could she be?

"Let's not panic. She could have just gone out." Caroline says and I instantly remember why we always butt heads… I'm not an idiot. She clearly is.

"Gone out _where_, exactly? There is no town to go to, she drinks blood from a blood bag, she dropped her classes this semester—"

"And she's been pretty attached to Damon since he got back, understandably. I mean, he did just come back from the dead."

I look at Bonnie in shock. Thank God someone else here has a brain.

I hear footsteps behind us and the front door opens.

"What's going on?"

Good, maybe my baby bro will know where she is.

"Please tell me you've seen your favorite ex-girlfriend."

"Elena?"

I roll my eyes. I take that back about him being able to help.

"No, Katherine... _Yes,_ Elena."

"She's missing?"

"Stefan, I don't have time to play 20 questions with you. Have you seen her since last night or not?"

He shakes his head. "I just assumed she was… with you."

My God, is that all people think we do? I mean, okay, _yeah_, we do that a lot but they have such dirty minds.

"No. She was gone when I got up."

Stefan gives me a look and I know what he's thinking. She's done this before… run off and, according to Stefan, almost killed people.

We have to find her.

**Elena's POV**

The dead eyes of each of my… victims… they are haunting me. I can still see them staring at me, begging why. I wish I had the answer to that, myself. I don't know why. All I know is that I am responsible for the deaths of six people. I know because I just got done burying six bodies, the bodies of strangers with lives and dreams and families. They were someone's sister or brother, daughter or son, mother or father… Tears spring to my eyes as I realize that I could have unknowingly forced on a child the same fate I suffered, to be an orphan. It was the worst pain I'd ever felt until I lost Damon.

My heart aches at the remnants of the pain I suffered for months without him here and it makes me long for him. I just want him to hold me and tell me that everything is going to be okay. Or, in more of a Damon style, tell me that he's going to find out what's going on and kick the ass of whoever is responsible.

I smile a little and brush the hair back from my face, realizing my hands are still a little darker than normal despite the rigorous scrubbing I did of myself in a nearby river. Or maybe my eyes are playing tricks on me. Am I losing my mind? I feel like I did when I was affected by the Hunter's Curse, overwhelmed, unable to control myself or separate my hallucinations from reality.

I grab my phone and sigh. I don't recognize these woods and I don't really know which way to go but I pick a direction and start walking, sure that I'll have to come to a road at some point. Looking around the forest, I'm suddenly struck by a feeling of déjà vu and I realize that the scenery is almost identical to those in the dreams that haunted me for months after Damon's death, reliving the same moment of realizing he was going to die setting off the explosion and dealing with the fear that he might not come back… then having that fear realized and experiencing his death over and over again. I shudder and start walking faster, ready to leave this melancholy feeling behind.

I'm not sure how long I've been walking when I'm suddenly struck by the feeling that I'm not alone. The sounds of the forest have disappeared and it gives me an eerie feeling. I hear a faint sound somewhere to my left, maybe a car door closing, and voices but they sound muted, almost, like they are talking underwater. They must be just outside my range of hearing but it's getting clearer as they walk closer to me. Panic blooms in my chest and I have the urge to run, terrified that I might not be able to control myself in the presence of a human. What if I lose it and kill someone again? I don't even know how this works, yet. Am I turning into a Ripper like Stefan? I can't. I can't risk it.

But as I turn to flee, I hear a familiar sound.

"This is it. This is where Bonnie's locator spell pointed us."

Stefan. His footsteps halt and he sighs.

"Yeah, well, Bonnie has been dead for a few months, so, maybe we should have asked one of the other witches at our disposal to find Elena."

And Damon.

"Because, judging on the fact that we're standing in a forest in eastern _Kentucky_, I'm going to guess that her skills are a little off." He continues.

Kentucky? What?

I hear Stefan chuckle.

"You know Liv and Luke are still working on healing Lucy. And she did it twice, Damon. We both know this is where it pointed us."

"I'm just saying, it doesn't make any sense. Her car isn't out here." He pauses for a second and, for a second, I think he's heard me. I hold my breath, not ready to be found. "Besides, why would she be in Kentucky, of all places?"

They are getting closer and I'm torn. Every part of my body is screaming at me to run to Damon, to throw my arms around him and kiss him until my head is spinning from lack of oxygen... but I'm covered in the blood of strangers and shame starts to creep through me. How can I explain this? I don't know what's going on with me and he just got back… I can't put something like this on him when he's endured so much already. I can do this on my own. I _will_ do this on my own.

Before I can change my mind and give in and call his name, I slowly bend and pick up a rock, throwing it as hard as I can in the opposite direction of where I heard their voices originate from. Less than half a second later, I hear them racing towards the rock's landing. When the sound is too faint to hear, I rush in the other direction, away from Damon, away from the reminders of the immoral acts I've committed, away from the piercing dead eyes that I still feel on me from beneath their shallow graves.

**Damon's POV**

Well, it's looking like this was a wasted trip. What a surprise. No Elena here in good ole Kentucky. Her phone is still going straight to voicemail and the longer that she's away, the more I'm starting to believe that Stefan is right and something strange is going on with her. More than nightmares and panic attacks.

I call Bonnie on our way back to the car to chastise her for her poor witchy skills but think better of it. I mean, she was dead for a while. Obviously being a witch doesn't come back as naturally as being a vampire because I came back just as distinguished in that field as I was when I left. Then again, not everyone can be me.

"Hey. Surprise, Elena is _not _in Kentucky. You got anything else for me?"

She sighs. "Hold on a second." I hear some jostling and assume she's putting me on speaker phone.

"Hellooo?"

"God, can you give me a minute? Three months in Purgatory doing _nothing_ and you're still not any more patient."

"Nope."

Stefan raises his eyebrows.

"Are you guys done bickering like an old married couple?"

I roll my eyes and start to prod her again when she cuts me off.

"Huh. That's strange. It's saying she's still in Kentucky but more eastern, almost out of the state. That doesn't make any sense—"

I can't hear anything she says after that because something catches my eye, glinting beneath the dirt and I walk over to examine it.

"Never mind, Bonnie. I'll see you when we get back."

I hang up before she can reply and bend down, picking up the silver chain necklace adorned with a small disc engraved with a lemniscate and the initials _E.G._


	14. Ecstasy

_Disclaimer: I do not own TVD or anything associated with it._

_Hello, all! Sorry for the long wait but I was suffering from a bit of writer's block. Hopefully, this will make up for it. It's written entirely from Elena's POV this time and it has a bit of __**mature**__ content at the end, just to forewarn you. Hope you enjoy it! Reviews are my favorite!_

**Elena's POV**

So, I caved and told Damon what's been going on.

Kind of.

I told him that I woke up in Kentucky and I didn't know how I got there. I also told him that I feared Stefan was right and I'd been feeding on humans again without knowing it.

What I didn't tell him was that I've been having strange dreams that don't seem like dreams for the past month or so or that they've seemed to have intensified since he's been home. I also didn't tell him that I buried the bodies of six people this afternoon, though I'm really surprised that he and Stefan didn't find them.

So, pretty much, I lied. I lied because I don't understand what's happening to me and I'm still determined to do as much of this on my own as I can. But Damon is smart. He is good at figuring people out because, in many ways, he's a predator and he always thinks one step ahead. I love that about him but it's a pain in the ass when I need to hide something. Especially something of this caliber. So, I tried to give him as much of the truth as I could without telling him everything outright. Still, if this keeps happening, he's going to catch on, which means I'm going to have to figure it out and fix it sooner rather than later.

I brush back his hair, admiring his sleeping form. He looks so peaceful and my heart squeezes. I wish I could do the same without fear. I wish that I could close my eyes and not worry about what I might do once my subconscious takes over. Sleep used to be an escape for me. Even when I had to relive losing Damon every night, it was a bittersweet torment, an agonizing paradise, because I got to see his face. I could hold him in my arms again for a time and, even though it would end and I had to lose him again and again, for that moment, I was in Heaven. Now, he's really here and I can't even enjoy that because my mind is such a mess that I don't even know what's going on half the time.

How is Lucy? I haven't even asked. I haven't really been _present _in so long.

My eyes start to get heavy and I sit up quickly.

No. I can't go to sleep. But where do I even start on trying to figure out what this is? Is it magical, like the Hunter's Curse? It certainly feels like I'm losing it sometimes. Or is my psyche finally fractured from all the tragedies I've endured?

I can't tell Bonnie for the same reasons that I'm trying to keep Damon out of this and Luke and Liv are pretty tied up in caring for Lucy. I guess I could see a psychiatrist but, then again, I could never really be honest enough to get a true diagnosis, if it is even something diagnosable.

No, I'll have to do some research on my own. Alaric might be able to help me find some occult books with information since he's the new Professor of Occult Studies at Whitmore. I'll have to be sneaky, though. No way he'll keep my secret from Damon.

Actually, now that I think about it, there are a few of Ric's books down in the den from when we were grasping at straws trying to find Bonnie and Damon. I'm not sure how much help they'll be but I have to try. Plus, I need something to keep my heavy eyes open. Lying beside Damon only makes me want to curl up in his arms and drift off to dreamland.

I stand carefully and walk towards the door, trying not to wake Damon. He sighs and rolls over. I still in the doorway, biting my lip in anticipation of his voice, but his breathing returns to normal and I slip out into the hall unseen.

* * *

The den is empty and a fire roars in the fireplace, providing a glow and warmth to the room. Ric's books are scattered about me but they've yielded no information so far as to what could be the cause of my fluctuating consciousness. I slump over in my seat to pull another book across the smooth surface of the table, laying my head against its cool mahogany before I can even open the dusty pages. The clock reads after 4 am. The even breathing in the various rooms of the house are an orchestra and provide a comfort that makes my eyes droop shut.

No! I can't fall asleep now. Nothing has been solved.

I sit up and look over the cover of the next text, my eyesight blurring slightly.

_Alternate Dimensions: A Mix of Reality and Fantasy_

I snort. Who comes up with these names?

I push the book open and skim through the pages but it's useless. I can't focus. Maybe if I just close my eyes for a second… if I can just rest them for a minute…

* * *

A halo of light cascades down on the empty forest. Well, not really empty. Six bodies of varying ages litter the small space, draped over one another, blood-soaked clothes from gruesome neck wounds, their faces vacant and mouths hanging open in a morbid look of surprise. Blue, brown, green. Six pairs of dead eyes stare at me, mocking me, accusing.

Movement to my left draws my eyes into the darkened part of the woods and I squint to try and make out something, anything. Finally, my eyes focus and I gasp.

Not just six bodies… hundreds more lie outside the circle of light and all their eyes are on me.

"Why?"

I look back to my right and into the face of the young girl that's speaking to me. She can't be over 20 years old and her life is already over. She's already dead… because of me. She untangles herself from the limbs of the other bodies and stands, her eyes still, glassy and unblinking, blood still trickling from the wound in her neck and soaking the light yellow shirt she wore the last night she was alive.

I see a pendant around her neck and something clicks. Images flash in my head: meeting her at Whitmore, talking to her, laughing, deciding what we would do over the summer when we went to our respective hometowns.

These aren't strangers. I know these people. Not well, but I have met them all before.

What was her name? She was in one of my classes…

"Hannah?"

She ignores my recognition and takes a step toward me.

"Why did you do this to me?"

"I'm… I'm sorry. I don't know…"

"I had a family, you know. I had a 2 year old niece. I had a sister and parents and a fiancé. I was supposed to get married in the Fall. I was supposed to grow old with my best friend. How could you take that from me?"

"I don't know… I wish I-I could go back… that I could-"

"What did I ever do to you?"

She takes another step toward me and I back up only to hit something solid behind me. Another person. I try to steady myself before looking back into the face of yet another person whose impending death I'm responsible for.

"Lucy?"

"Why, Elena? Why did you have to drag me into this? Was Damon so important that my life meant nothing? Were you so desperate to have him back that you would sacrifice anyone else?"

"I'm sorry!" I scream at her and turn to get away but come face to face with Jeremy, his neck bent at an odd angle.

"People keep dying because you force us into your chaotic, uncontrollable life, Elena. How many times have I died? How many times did Ric die? All because of you!"

His words echo, the words bouncing around inside my skull and I cover my ears.

I can't hear this. I can't. I can't think with all the voices in my head, blaming me, tormenting me.

I turn away from Jeremy and dodge Lucy and Hannah only to trip over another body and fall to my knees. A familiar leather jacket fills my vision and I feel like the wind has been knocked out of me. Damon lays across the dirt, charred and unmoving. I'm torn between not wanting to hear the horrible things I know he'll accuse me of and not caring as long as I can hear his voice again. Minutes pass and they feel like hours as I wait for him to speak.

He never does.

"Damon."

I shake him.

"Damon, wake up. Please, wake up. Tell me it's my fault. Tell me… something. Anything. Please, just open your eyes. Please."

Despair rushes in, filling my chest and making it hard to breathe. Like being underwater, like dying in my parent's car or Matt's sunken truck all over again. How sad and strange that this pain is almost familiar, now… almost as much a part of me as anything else. Even more strange that it can be so familiar and still so crippling.

The volume of the insults being thrown at me reaches an all-time high and I cover my ears.

"SHUT UP! Just stop!" I scream and a few seconds later there's silence.

I look around me. The forest is empty. Damon is gone. I'm alone.

"Elena."

A little girl no more than 6 looks down at me, her round, brown eyes still full of the innocence that comes with being a child.

Oh, no. No. I didn't… I couldn't have…

I look her over, trying to find how I must have… ended her barely-begun life. Her brown hair is pull into pigtails that drape over the shoulders of her simple, white dress… but there's no blood. There's no indication at all that she's dead. She's just… here.

She looks so familiar. Why can't I remember her?

She turns and walks into the darkened forest, glancing back to see if I'm following. I do, reluctantly, and she takes off running.

"Wait!"

I try to follow the white glow that seems to cling to her but she's soon swallowed by the darkness.

Great.

"Elena."

I turn to look back into the same brown eyes from earlier.

"Follow me." She says in a voice that's almost haunting.

She turns to run into the woods again and I grab her arm to pull her back. She's ice cold and a shock runs through me.

"Who are you?" I beg.

She grins.

"You're asking the wrong questions."

* * *

I jump awake.

The clock still reads just after 4 AM and I check my phone, sure that the clock in the den must be wrong. It's not. How can that even be? Barely five minutes has passed…

I stack Ric's books back the way they were and start upstairs. I don't know what's going on but I have a strange feeling and I don't want to be alone.

I poke my head into Bonnie and Jeremy's room as reassurance that Jeremy is okay despite my horrible dreams about him. He's sleeping soundly with his arm tucked around Bonnie as if he wants to protect her from her world. They look content. It makes me feel a bit better to know that I have brought some happiness back into his life. He needs that.

I stand outside Lucy's door, wanting to look in but afraid of what I might see.I start to push the door open but hesitate.

I'll go in tomorrow. I will. Really. I just… need to prepare myself to see what I caused. I need to make sure I can cope seeing someone's life destroyed because of my selfishness. And that's not something I can deal with just yet.

Speaking of my selfishness, I look in at Damon, still sleeping peacefully, and I can't stop myself from pressing my lips against his.

"Mmmm." He sighs, his blue eyes peeking at me from beneath long lashes. "What time is it?"

"It doesn't matter." I whisper back.

He pulls me back down into a kiss, his lips so soft and warm against my own. Even after a summer of kisses like this, it still makes me wild. My fingers tangle in his hair, securing his lips to mine, and he tugs me down onto the bed, rolling to pin me. He grabs the hem of my shirt and fluidly pulls it off, barely breaking our kiss. I shiver and gasp as his hands run across my back, unclasping my bra and tossing it aside, and his lips travel along my collarbone.

I grab him and flip him over with blinding speed, running my hands over his bare chest, taking in every part of his perfection. And that's what he is: perfection. Perfect blue eyes rimmed with long black lashes. Perfectly disheveled hair. Perfectly defined muscles over every incredible inch of his body.

He raises up and pulls me back into a kiss, seeming to crave me as much as I crave him but I shove him back down, scraping my fingernail down his chest. Blood rushes towards my eyes at the scarlet drops that start to rise atop the skin that's already healing.

Is that awe I see in his eyes? I watch them and lean down to lick the beads of blood from his chest. His eyes close and his mouth opens in way that sends an electric charge through my body, one that goes down to the very atoms that make me. His expression takes me back to the bathroom in The Grill… back when I was a new vampire and I drank from him for the first time. I remember wanting him so badly, even then. It took everything I had not to give myself over to him that very second. The ecstasy on his face... I knew it was wrong to cause him such pleasure when I was with Stefan. I understood that it was something personal, intimate, but I couldn't stop myself. I didn't want to.

I sit back up. His blue eyes watch me, curious, as I bring my wrist to my lips and bite. I barely notice the pain, the sting lessened by Damon's reaction as I offer it to him. His eyes darken and his fangs grow. Even like this, he is beautiful. My stomach churns as he pulls my wrist close and sinks his own teeth in. I cry out in a mix of pain and pleasure and his hands tighten around my arm. A tingle sweeps through my body at the feel of his tongue on me, his lips locked around my wrist, drinking me in. My eyes flutter shut involuntarily and my head falls back. I can't focus on anything but this amazing, freeing feeling.

Why is this so incredible?

I look back down at Damon. His head is turned to the side and I can see the heartbeat pulsing in his neck. My mouth waters and I can feel the points of my fangs growing.

I want it. I _need _it.

When he pulls back from my wrist, gasping, blood dripping from his mouth, I can't stop myself from leaning forward to lick it off. He groans and it sets my skin on fire. I pull his head to the side, sinking my teeth into him.

Flavor explodes in my mouth, warmth spreads from my core to the tips of my fingers. This is what power tastes like. This is ecstasy in liquid form. There aren't words for it, only feelings that pulse through my body ferociously, blocking every other thought from my mind. Time seems to slow or I'm moving faster than I ever have. It's dizzying. It's Heaven.

Damon is crushing me to him and I know what he's feeling. I know that feeling that's building inside of him because it's building in me, too, and I need more. He pushes against me and we slam into the wall on the other side of the room, his mouth crushing mine as we grasp at each other. I can taste the blood on his lips and it only adds fuel to the fire that drives us. There is a rush of air and I'm pressed against another wall. Something glass breaks when we hit and the wood of this old house creaks with every blow we inflict but, honestly, the house could be falling apart around us and I wouldn't care.

I'm sure the others are awake now, listening to us gasping for air as our bodies come together. I don't care, though. All I can focus on is the way Damon's hands are holding me to him, the feel of his breath hot on my neck as he moans my name, his blood rushing through me, my blood pumping through him.

We are one.

* * *

We are still gasping for air, lying on blood stained sheets that somehow ended up on the floor. Damon is still pressed against me, tracing patterns on my stomach, kissing my neck… doing all manner of things that make me want to never leave this room.

"That… was—"

"Incredible?" I say, looking back at him with a grin.

"Exactly."

I smile and roll onto my side, scooting back until he's as close as he can be. He kisses my shoulder and I close my eyes. It's starting get light outside but I'm exhausted, now, from lack of sleep and our… extracurricular activities. But more than exhausted, I'm relaxed. Maybe it's the wave of endorphins that flooded my body moments ago but I could sleep here with him and not worry.

Maybe I've been making too big a deal out of all this… maybe it's all just repressed anxiety that's finally surfaced. Maybe… maybe this is the end of it.

Damon moves back a little, running his fingers down my back slowly, showing the sweet side that he usually reserves for me. After a second, he stills and I wonder if he's fallen asleep until he speaks with a strange undertone to his voice.

"What is that?"


End file.
